Thoughts Poisoning My Head

Within the few hours before writing this blog draft I watched all over again the seventh movie installment of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately. I also went online a few minutes before writing this blog draft and then I went promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on a social networking site. Hmm, I also researched on interesting blog topic ideas. It's just that my research led me to nowhere so I still don't have any idea what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. Oh, not to mention babbling about my frustrations and how I'm living those even just inside the four walls of my room. LOL. Hmm, I also researched on how to self-publish an e-book without spending a single centavo and sell my e-book on online e-bookstores. Well, never mind. Damn it.

You know what? I feel like a college graduate who doesn't know what else to do in life after college graduation 'coz all I learned to do my whole damn life is to go to school. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like not knowing what else to talk about in my blog 'coz all I know to talk about are my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute. Well, all I know is I want to be a writer someday. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, so I guess the best thing for me to do these days is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Well, I'm still not over that mind reading issue though. Hmm, I don't know with me. Damn it. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about?

Hmm, so why is the title of this blog draft “Thoughts Poisoning My Head”? Well, I don't really know. I mean, I just remembered the way I think whenever my psychotic mind drops by popped out of my head and then I thought of giving the said title to this blog draft. You know what? It's not a joke to have Bipolar Disorder not to mention the mental and emotional torture that comes along with it. Oh, to add to that the prices of the medicines too. Well, I'm just thinking if I do the Math I'm most probably rich by now if I saved the dough spent for my medicines since I had Bipolar Disorder instead. Hmm, on second thought I'm talking about mental health here and I think everyone's well aware how important it is to be mentally healthy so I'd rather live a simple life as long as my mind is healthy and all that. Well, as they say count one's blessings and not one's troubles. I mean, what if this Bipolar Disorder I have is a blessing in disguise? Well, maybe.

You know what? It seems like I'll be spending the rest of my life waiting for the day I die. I mean, my dreams are an inch away from impossible and I'm thinking I'm only up to make-believing that I'm living my dreams even just inside the four walls of my room. I guess the best thing for me to do is to make the most out of each and every single day the way I know how. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I just don't want my psychotic mind to drop by and ruin everything. Well, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Yeah, right. Hmm, never mind.

I'm writing a lot lately. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, I don't know if this is what they call as a passion for writing or is this just some sort of adrenaline rush. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hey, it seems like I'm playing with words all over again. Damn it. Yeah, right. It's like writing a whole damn page when only two paragraphs or a few sentences perhaps make some sense and the rest are completely rubbish. LOL. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Damn, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Oh, I'm still thinking of doing a writing workshop on my own. Damn, how am I gonna be able to do that? Well, I don't really know. Hmm, whatever.