Me and the Insecure Bitch in Me

I'm not tall but I'm not short either. I'm not slim but I'm not fat either. I'm not a pretty face but I'm not that ugly either. I'm not the best in anything I do but I'm not the worst either. Hmm, and the thoughts to make myself feel better whenever the insecure bitch in me drops by goes on and on and I guess it will take me forever if I mention such thoughts one by one here in this blog draft. LOL. So I'm wondering why is it that I still feel so insecure sometimes when if I think it over there's nothing to be insecure about. Or maybe I'm just not happy, satisfied, and contented with what God has given me. You know what? I remember those times when my disorder was at its worst I went complaining to God about all my insecurities and why I never became everything I ever wanted to be since the day I learned how to dream. Well, I guess God has His reasons. LOL.

Oh, not to mention my messy, wavy, and witch-like hair. LOL. By the way, I'm still running seventy-one percent done in reading this Fantasy book series I'm reading these days. You know what? I really wanna be a writer in the real world everybody knows. Hmm, I don't know if me keeping my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn updated a step towards achieving my dream to be a writer someday. Well, maybe at this point I'm kind of asking myself if what I'm doing as of now is somewhat going somewhere or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, I guess I need to remind myself once again that there's no such thing as an overnight success, right? Damn, I wonder if someone out there will ever bother to read about my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Whatever.

You know what? I guess it's much better for me to be happy, satisfied, and contented with what I have as of now. I mean, I don't wanna end up drowning myself with all my insecurities all over again. Oh, not to mention that life is not fair. It was never fair in the first place. Hmm, I guess I need to always keep that in mind. Damn it. On second thought there are remedies to some of my insecurities anyway. I mean, if I wanna feel taller then I can always count on wearing high heels or something. Hmm, not to mention that there are clothes that can give an illusion of a slim figure if I'm not mistaken. Well, there is always make-up if I wanna look more presentable. Hmm, those are just some of the examples that popped out of my head. Hmm, can you think of anything else?

Damn, why am I talking about my insecurities? Well, I don't know with me. LOL. So going back to my dream of being a writer someday. I mean, the lead vocal of my favorite American rock band that I have a crush on was in his mid-twenties when they had a breakthrough in the mainstream music industry so I guess I still stand a chance, right? Oh, not to mention that I have been trying to write a book since I was eight years old. Damn, I wonder what will it be like if I have been keeping a blog since I was eight. Hmm, I guess such has its advantages and disadvantages or something. Well, I guess the younger me wasn't ready to keep a blog or what.

On second thought there's nothing much to write about when I was younger anyway. I mean, I live such a super boring life not to mention that I'm such a boring person. Oh, not to mention that I'm trying my damn best to keep my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn updated 'coz I have a goal and I'm thinking if I'll be able to reach that goal then it's a sign from God that I'm ready and that I have what it takes to do whatever it is that I want to do in life which is to be a writer in the real world everybody knows someday. If I won't be able to reach that goal then I am a fiasco once again or shall I say an epic fail once more. Well, in fairness I was able to keep this blog going since the 15^th of June 2013 which is quite an achievement on my part. I mean, most if not all of my blogs back then weren't able to survive for even a day, a week, or a month 'coz I end up deleting the blog for some reason or abandoning it. So the dream still lives on, huh? Whatever.