I Find it Ideal to Work at Home

Well, since we moved into a new place a few months ago and I'm not that familiar with my new environment then it seems like I find it ideal to work at home instead of being employed in a company somewhere out there. I mean, in this new place I'm sort of isolated from the city where I grew up and it seems like if I land a job in my old city then I'm thinking my salary won't be enough to cover the transportation, lunch, and not to mention my medicines. Well, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, actually I dropped by online a few minutes ago and went researching on how to self-publish a book online without spending a single centavo. Damn, why won't I just write a book to begin with and then send my work of art to literary agents when it's ready? I mean, I don't have superpowers to do everything on my own. Well, if you can catch my drift.

Hmm, then my research led me to a self-publishing company looking for data encoders and I was like somewhat interested to apply or something. It's just that when I read the qualifications that company is looking for I realized that I'm not qualified 'coz I can't type 70 words per minute with 98 percent accuracy not to mention that they opt for somebody who can touch type. Damn it. Hmm, so I researched for data encoding jobs or typing jobs or whatever you call it on a search engine and then I realized that I have a problem when it comes to the difference between typing on a laptop's keyboard and typing on an old-fashioned keyboard. I mean, it seems like my fingers got used to typing on a laptop's keyboard and my fingers usually get lost whenever typing on an old-fashioned keyboard. Hmm, so the problem led me to researching about work at home jobs.

Well, if you ask me I think the idea of being able to work at home and start earning my own dough is brilliant. It's just that I have an issue when it comes to how am I gonna get my pay. I mean, I find it ideal for my pay to simply be deposited in my bank account every pay day or something rather than receiving it through an electronic money transfer whatever thing that I forgot the right term or through cheque. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, it's just that the world is changing each and every second so I guess the best thing for me to do is to adjust to everything which is not to mention something I find quite a challenge. LOL. Well, there are different kinds of work at home jobs. Hmm, I read about those and decided that I opt to be a self-employed blogger. Well, if I'm not mistaken it's like earning while blogging through letting advertisers post advertisements on the extra spaces of my blog or something. Hmm, and if I understand it correctly it's like a pay-per-click whatever thing which means the blogger earns a certain amount for every click the advertisement gets. I mean, if you can catch my drift. LOL.

Hmm, it's just that that style of earning while blogging is not that lucrative most especially when one's blog doesn't have that much traffic. Damn, I think I'm gonna go and research about data entry jobs in companies within walking distance the next time I drop by online. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking of starting my own business instead not to mention that I'm the kind of person who opts to be one's own boss. LOL. It's just that number one I don't have a single penny in my pocket to start a business not to mention that number two even if I do have a capital I don't have any idea what kind of business am I gonna get myself into. Hey, why won't I give answering surveys a try? Well, I don't really know. On second thought it's somehow inconvenient to work online when we don't have a 24/7 internet connection at home. Well, it's okay. I mean, if ever we do have a 24/7 internet connection at home it seems like I'll only end up wasting the hours surfing the internet or something. Well, what I'm saying is there's really nothing much to do online aside from keeping my blog updated from time to time, promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on social networking sites, watching videos on a video sharing website, and stalking my favorite celebrities online. LOL. Damn, how the hell am I gonna start earning my own dough by blogging? Hmm, I think I'm gonna go and research for online writing jobs or what.

A Ticket to Realize a Dream

Well, let's just say I'm in the process of accomplishing a project these days and that project happens to be my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn. Hmm, the requirement is to write 97,500 words of nonsense and the deadline will be this coming December 15, 2013. Damn, that's a lot of pressure. LOL. Hmm, and then I will submit my project or my work of art or my blog book or whatever you call it to literary agents. Well, when I told a high school friend of mine that I want to be a writer someday she told me not to dive head first and test the waters for the mean time. Hmm, if my memory serves me right she told me that I have to start somewhere and she suggested that I write poems, short stories, essays, or whatever then send it to newspapers or something. Well, I don't know if I'm diving head first these days or what. I mean, all I know is I'm simply trying to reach for my dreams the way I know how without knowing where it will go.

Damn, am I such a terrible writer? Well, I don't really know. I mean, no one was really able to critique my writing style or something not to mention that it's most likely that no one out there ever bothered to read any of my blog posts attentively. You know what? Being an amateur writer isn't really as easy as one-two-three. Oh, not to mention keeping one's blog interesting or something. Damn, I feel like my blog is getting more and more boring by the minute. One day I'm gonna start earning my own dough by writing. I'm gonna write a book and it's gonna be the next bestseller not to mention myself as the next bestselling author. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. Well, as I've said I want to write a book for light reading and not a book with a heavy atmosphere. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, I'm running out of nonsense to blab about.

You know what? I'm thinking it will be such a miracle if I ever end up writing a blog post that makes a lot of sense or something. LOL. Damn, if I ever self-publish my blog book without spending a single centavo and then selling my e-book online on e-bookstores I wonder if someone out there will ever dare to spare some of one's hard earned dough just to read about my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between not to mention me babbling about my dreams or shall I say frustrations and how I'm living those even just inside the four walls of my room. Well, if you or you know someone who feels so miserable then it much better for that miserable person to read my blog book to feel better about one's self 'coz someone else out there is more miserable and that more miserable person happens to be me. Oh, and that's another marketing strategy. LOL. Hmm, I guess better count one's blessings and not ones' troubles. LOL. I mean, don't you think it's miserable enough to be a boring person living such a super boring life? Damn, where is this blog draft going? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. Hmm, whatever.

By the way, there are typographic errors in my previous posts. I mean, in my blog post “So Close to the Dream Yet So Far” I wrote “my psychotic dropped by and spoiled everything” when it's supposed to be “my psychotic mind dropped by and spoiled everything”. Well, I forgot to write the word “mind” or something. Hmm, another option to correct that error is to say “my psychosis” instead of “my psychotic” but what I really meant to write is “psychotic mind”. LOL. Well, in my blog post “Not Much is Interesting Enough” I wrote “On second thoughts” instead of “On second thought”. I mean, I just by mistake added the letter “s” in the word “thought”. Hmm, I don't know if I'll go and correct these typographic errors the next time I drop by online. Well, maybe I will or maybe I won't. Hmm, those are not the only mistakes I made in this blog anyway so no worries. LOL. I mean, maybe my readers if I ever do have some are immune to it by now. LOL. On second thought some people say that the more imperfect an artwork is the more beautiful it becomes. Hmm, I just don't know if it also applies to my literary masterpieces. LOL.

Listening to My Own Songs

I opt to listen to my own songs with a headset. Hmm, I don't know with me. Well, since my headset with microphone got broken and is most probably in a dump site by now I tried to listen to the fine-tuned version of my twelve-song-acapella-record-album “It's a Mess” without a headset but I ended up putting an end to it after a few minutes of listening. Damn, I wonder if my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” has reached another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. You know what? I'm thinking since I'm done exploring the world of witches and wizards through reading this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately not to mention watching the movie installments of the said Fantasy book series then I'm kind of feeling like giving the world of vampires and werewolves a chance. Well, I don't feel like reading the books. I mean, I just feel like watching the movie version and all that. Hmm, whatever. LOL.

Hmm, so I guess for now my world revolves around listening to music, reading good books, and writing my own blog book. Oh, I'm thinking the world will be a better place to live in if I can add watching movies to the list. LOL. You know what? I feel like it's been a while since I mentioned “It's a Mess” in my previous blog posts. Well, I don't really know. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking it's fair enough to say that my singing voice somehow got polished through the years of constant singing or shall I say screaming. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking if I'll combine all my literary masterpieces since I had Bipolar Disorder I would have written a book that I can reconsider as publishing worthy by now. It's just that it was a girl with a psychotic mind who wrote those stuffs so I better drop the idea of combining all those literary masterpieces and just work on a new work of art instead. Well, I already am working on it and this new work of art happens to be my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn. Well, never mind. Damn it.

Oh, if I'm not mistaken one of the interesting blog topic ideas that popped out in my online research is to give a critique on someone or something or whatever. Damn, I'm not really that good when it comes to giving a critique or what. Oh, not to mention that I'm quite somehow allergic to criticisms especially if it's a not-so-constructive criticism delivered in a barbaric way. LOL. Oh, another interesting blog topic idea that popped out in my online research is to write a blog post about my stand on books in print compared to e-books. Hmm, why won't I go and give this topic a try? Well, so here it goes. I mean, as a reader I opt to read books in print 'coz I grew up doing so and I have to say that there's really nothing like flipping the pages or something. LOL. Well, it's just that if I'll ever become a writer then I opt to sell an e-book version of my work of art rather than the printed one. I mean, most people these days are living in the digital age and with the rise of tablets then I'm thinking modern readers opt for e-books or something. LOL.

Well, I'm still dreaming to have a mini-library someday though and I mean a mini-library of books in print. Damn, why is the title of this blog draft “Listening to My Own Songs”? I mean, it's quite funny how I gave this blog draft the said title when here I am ending up talking about books and not songs. LOL. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. Hmm, so I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to live my life to the fullest not to mention making the most out of each and every day the way I know how. Damn, what am I gonna do without writing? Hmm, maybe I'll go and listen to “It's a Mess” by the time I'll have a new headset with microphone not to mention that I'll go and read what I have written so far since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” by December or by the time my blog book survives a year which is still ages from now. I mean, reading my literary masterpieces is somehow like listening to my own songs. I mean, if you can catch my drift. LOL. Damn, why am I writing a lot lately? Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, so the dream still lives on, huh?

It's Not the Time to Take a Break

Hmm, I think I mentioned in my previous posts that I'm thinking of taking a break from writing. Well, maybe I ended up saying such 'coz I was running out of nonsense to talk about and I have a funny feeling that my blog is getting more and more boring by the minute. Oh, not to mention that I'm spending too much dough just to keep my blog updated without earning a single centavo out of it and to make things worse the dough spent came from my parents 'coz I don't have a single penny in my pocket to begin with. You know what? I guess it's much better for me not to feel that bad about spending without earning at this point of my journey to becoming a writer someday. I mean, why won't I just think that being a blogger and keeping my blog updated from time to time is my way of establishing myself as a writer or something? Hmm, don't you think?

Oh, I'm reading another book from my mini-library. Well, at first I was kind of hesitant to read this book or basically read all the books I have that was written by this certain writer or author or novelist or whatever you call it. Hmm, don't bother asking why 'coz I'm not saying the answer I have in mind. LOL. Well, if I'm not mistaken this book I'm currently reading is about dreams and what dreamers end up doing just to reach that dream. Hmm, I think I chose to read this particular book next to the one I previously read from my mini-library is because I'm hoping that the story of this certain book will somehow inspire me in my journey to becoming a writer someday. You know what? It's been years if I'm not mistaken since I last read this book I'm currently reading and it's somehow a good idea to read it again and refresh my mind on what went on the book's story or something. Hmm, I still don't know if I'll write a book review after reading or not. LOL.

You know what? When I browsed through the interesting blog topic ideas that popped out in my online research back then some suggestions were more on writing a blog post about a review on this and a review on that. Well, I attempted to write a book review in one of my previous posts and I don't know if I did pretty well or was my book review a bit terrible or something. LOL. Hmm, at least I was able to step out of my comfort zone and wrote a book review which is a breath of fresh air to my readers if I ever do have some especially when they are sick and tired of me babbling about my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between not to mention talking about my dreams or shall I say frustrations and how I'm living those even just inside the four walls of my room. Well, I guess that's just me and I better just live with it. LOL. You know what? I feel like reading all my books from kindergarten, grade school, high school, college, to graduate school. Hmm, maybe 'coz I feel like my head is empty and it needs to be fed. On second thought not everything in school books is relevant to survive life anyway. Damn it.

I mean, if I'm not mistaken it's impossible for an average student to retain all the lessons discussed back in school. Damn, it seems like I'm feeling like going back to square one or something which is totally pointless. I mean, I'm a college graduate who completed a semester in graduate school but unfortunately dropped out by the middle of graduate school's second semester 'coz my psychotic mind dropped by and ruined everything which somehow unofficially put an end to my student career. Oh, not to mention that pressure also dropped by and wiped me out on the face of the Earth. Damn it. Oh, not to mention that during practice teaching I was required to teach Math which is not my area of expertise to high school students. I mean, I was thinking of teaching in college. Well, it's just that problem is I don't know what subject in college am I gonna teach. I mean, it seems like I'm not going back to school any time soon or maybe in my whole damn life so I obviously won't have the chance to take more graduate school units to qualify me as a college teacher. Hmm, on second thought I'm not really an intelligent person not to mention that I don't have most if not all of the qualities that supposed to be found in a teacher or what.

Path Towards a Career in Writing

Well, I decided to start off my path towards a career in writing by going through a writing workshop on my own. Hmm, so for a start I'm gonna attempt to write a book review and I got the idea of doing such from what popped out of my online research about interesting blog topic ideas back then. Damn, I'm not really a girl of many opinions and I just don't know how am I gonna survive this challenge of writing a book review not to mention that I have a funny feeling that no one out there cares of what I think about basically anything to begin with. Hmm, I'm gonna try to write a book review about this book which happens to be one of the books in my mini-library. I mean, I think I have mentioned in my previous post that I'm reading one of the books in my mini-library that is written in the national language of this country where I live in. Yeah, I thought so.

Hmm, unfortunately I'm not disclosing the title of this book and also the author who wrote it. I mean, I need to keep such information to myself in order to make the world a better place to live in. Well, I think I have mentioned in my previous post that this book is more on the adventures and misadventures of being a student with a twist of humor in it and I have to say that the book was really entertaining. Hmm, the narrator of the book's story was basically having a trip way back memory lane and it dates back to the beginning of his career as a student towards the end of his career as a student towards his short-term career as a teacher. If I'm not mistaken the book was written in such a way to make it's readers laugh. Or maybe the author was simply naturally funny and his sense of humor was effortlessly reflected in the book or something. Hmm, I guess so.

Well, I have to say that I wasn't able to relate to some parts of the book maybe 'coz the author and I were born in different generations. Hmm, actually the real identity of this author that I'm talking about remains a question mark up to this day. I mean, this author was featured on a Sunday evening television magazine program and if my memory serves me right when the author's publisher was interviewed the publisher said that this author that I am talking about would rather keep one's real identity a question mark 'coz the said author wants to live a quiet and peaceful life. Well, those weren't really the exact words but that's how I understand it. Hmm, if my memory serves me right the segment featuring this said author was concluded that this author that I am talking about is a real person and not a fictitious character so so much about the said author. LOL.

You know what? While reading this book that I am talking about I have to say that I somehow miss being a student not to mention that one of the few things that I learned my whole damn life is to go to school and now that my student career is somewhat over I'm here left clueless on what am I gonna do with my damn life in the real world everybody knows. Well, I want to be a writer. It's just that it seems like that dream is an inch away from impossible and only what God can give me is the chance to make-believe that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Hmm, maybe I'm just up until living my dreams or shall I say frustrations even just inside the four walls of my room. Well, I have to say that a part of me is still wishing for a miracle though. Hmm, whatever.

Oh, the book was expressed in slang language so it wasn't that difficult to understand. I mean, I just remembered my copies of two of the novels written by the national hero of this country where I live in. Well, the copy I have is written in the national language of this country where I live in. It's just that it was written in such a formal way that it's sort of a challenge to understand when I tried to read those two novels way back high school. I mean, I really have a problem when it comes to reading books that belong to classics. Well, maybe 'coz I grew up with the modern language or something. You know what? I'm really wondering if am I writing in English in such a way that it's only me who can understand. LOL. Well, if my memory serves me right some people say that it's okay to have many changes in a certain language 'coz it means the said language is evolving which means it's still alive. Hmm, that's how I understand it. LOL. Damn it.

Something Worth Remembering

I have written a lot since I had my Bipolar Disorder. I had some of what I wrote posted on a blog but I ended up deleting whatever that was. I also tried to write a book then had its pages printed on a short bond paper and had it book-bounded with a hard cover. Oh, not to mention my TweetBook and some excerpts from my blog “Behind the Mask” that I wrote carrying one of my previous pen names. Hmm, I had my TweetBook and excerpts from my blog “Behind the Mask” printed on a short bond paper and had it compiled in a clear book. Well, to add to that I also wrote a book that I named “Behind the Mask” carrying one of my previous pen names. Hmm, I had the seventy pages of that book printed on a short bond paper and had it compiled in a clear book. Well, those are the literary masterpieces I came up with since I had Bipolar Disorder excluding those that I wrote with pen and paper plus those blog posts I deleted. Hmm, and these days I'm keeping my blog “Mysterious Girl” updated as I am carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”.

Well, it's just that problem is I usually don't feel like reading what I have written in those literary masterpieces all over again. Hmm, maybe because I was psychotic when I wrote most of what I wrote back then. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, maybe at the back of my head I'm thinking if I'll read all over again my literary masterpieces that I wrote with a psychotic mind it will lead to being mentally and emotionally tortured all over again. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, I don't want my psychotic mind to drop by and spoil everything or shall I say I don't wanna go through some mental and emotional torture anymore. I guess it's much better for me to stop being a prisoner of the past and start thinking of fresh thoughts from now on. Oh, which reminds me of my song “A Broken Record” and I'm wondering if my lyric video of my song has reached another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Hmm, never mind.

You know what? When it comes to worrying about spending too much while make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online without earning a single centavo out of it I think it's much better for me not to feel that bad about it. Hmm, let's just say keeping my blog updated from time to time is part of my own writing workshop or something in order for me to polish my writing skills if I ever do have a skill in writing to begin with. I mean, if you can catch my drift. LOL. You know what? If you feel like your life is too boring and you're bored of living your boring life then I guess it's much better for you to give my blog book a chance and read my posts for you to realize that someone out there is more bored living a more super boring life than you do and that unfortunate girl happens to be me. LOL. Oh, that's another marketing strategy. LOL.

Hmm, so I guess this isn't the right time for me to read everything I have written since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”. Well, I don't really know. I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on writing and writing until I'll finally be able to write a publishing worthy blog book which is not as easy as one-two-three. Hmm, I'm thinking of browsing through the interesting blog topic ideas that popped out in my online research and I hope I'll be able to spot a suggestion that I find interesting enough to stretch into a blog draft. Well, when I'm in a good mood I like to read my literary masterpieces over and over again. It's just that whenever I'm in a bad mood it's much better for me to stay away from my literary masterpieces. LOL. Damn, I just don't wanna go through some mental and emotional torture anymore. Oh, I'm still not over the mind reading without a gadget issue though. You know what? I guess it's much better for me to do my best to accomplish step one which is to write 97,500 words of nonsense by December and then submit my work of art which is my blog book to literary agents. Hmm, I guess so. LOL.

Make a Living Out of Writing

Hmm, so I guess I just couldn't take a break from writing. I mean, not for now. LOL. Well, I'm thinking of reading what I have written here on my blog so far it's just that I'm also thinking that this isn't the right time for me to do that. Hmm, I don't know with me. Well, I decided to read again one of the books in my mini-library and the book that I'm currently reading is written in the national language of this country where I live in. If I'm not mistaken this book I'm talking about is more on the adventures and misadventures of being a student with a twist of humor in it. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, there's nothing to worry 'coz it seems like my student career is somewhat over and I'm not ever going back to school any time soon or maybe in my whole damn life. I mean, I already learned how to read and write so what else am I gonna go to school for?

Oh, I'm not saying that a student better drop out of school after learning how to read and write. I mean, if I'm not mistaken education is important 'coz if one isn't well educated then other people might go and take advantage of one's ignorance. Well, if you can catch my drift. Oh, not to mention that employers these days opt for college graduates than the undergraduate ones. I mean, being a college graduate increases one's chances of landing as a company employee with a good pay. Well, it's just that the corporate world is not the world for me. Damn, if I can only start making a living out of writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Oh, I'm still on page 20 of this book I'm currently reading. Hmm, nothing much. Damn it.

Hmm, so I guess this is what I got for being such a loner since time in memorial, huh? I ended up to be an unemployed not to mention unemployable young adult who is make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online not to mention spending too much dough just to live that dream even just inside the four walls of my room without earning a single centavo out of my efforts and to make things worse the dough spent came from my parents 'coz I don't have a single centavo or shall I say penny inside my pocket. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Well, I hope you're immune to it by now. LOL.

Oh, I'm still thinking about doing a writing workshop all by myself. I browsed through the blog topic ideas that came out in my research the last time I dropped by online and still it's not helping at all. Well, on second thought I'm not really a girl with many opinions so might as well just keep on writing about my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. Damn, I really wanna read a new book. It's just that I don't have a single penny in my pocket to buy myself a new one so here I am reading all over again one of the books in my mini-library. You know what? I'm also still thinking of turning my blog into a professional looking blog book. Hmm, it's just that I think the best thing for me to do is to accomplish step one first which is to write a publishing worthy blog book and then submit my work of art to literary agents. Well, I guess so.

Hmm, so I guess nothing much is going on at present, huh? Well, that's nothing new. LOL. Hmm, I was thinking of having what I have written so far since I began carrying pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” printed on a short bond paper. It's just that I don't have a single penny in my pocket for me to do that so I dropped the idea. I guess it's much better for me to just keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. I mean, I haven't written a publishing worthy blog book yet so it means there's still a lot of work to be done and a long way to go. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, what am I gonna write in the query that I will send to literary agents? I mean, the query better be good enough to make literary agents give my blog book a chance or something. Hmm, I'll think about it so for now I guess it's much better for me to write 97,500 words of nonsense by December. LOL.

Not Much is Interesting Enough

I'm still thinking of doing a writing workshop on my own. It's just that when I dropped by online I still wasn't able to bump into interesting blog topic ideas that I find interesting enough to write about. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. Hmm, I guess it's time for me to close a chapter of my blog book then I'll go start a new chapter as soon as I can. I mean, if I'm not mistaken a book is usually divided into chapters, right? At the same time I just feel like reading whatever it is that I have written so far since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”. Hmm, so I guess this is the end of Part One of my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn then. I mean, I feel like reading what I have written for my blog book so far 'coz I want to figure out if have I grown as a writer or not. At the same time I don't wanna keep on repeating the same things over and over again. LOL.

You know what? It seems like I need to have a break from writing for a while and try to gather some inspiration on what else to talk about. Well, I may be having some sort of a break from writing but it doesn't mean that I'm giving up on my dream to be a writer someday. Hmm, I'm not ending this thought of having a break from writing with a period though. I mean, what if an idea on what to write about pops out of my head and then I go stretching it out into a blog post? Well, if you can catch my drift. I'm still wondering what is a better way to preserve one's thoughts though. I mean, is it through having my thoughts posted on a blog? Or is it through having my thoughts printed on a short bond paper? You know what? I think it's too early to have a break from writing. I mean, I haven't written 97,500 words of nonsense yet, right? It's just that I think it will be unfair to my readers if I ever do have some if I continue to write about a bunch of crap just to reach my goal of writing 97,500 words of nonsense by December. Hmm, don't you think?

Or maybe it's the “Mysterious Girl” in me resurfacing all over again. I mean, through keeping my blog updated from time to time it seems like I'm making my life an open book or something. Well, I don't really know. You know what? I really feel like reading what I have written so far. Or maybe it's the unemployed not to mention unemployable young adult in me resurfacing or something. I mean, maybe it's slowly sinking in me that I'm spending too much dough by religiously updating my blog without earning a single centavo out of it. Oh, not to mention that the dough didn't came from my own pocket 'coz up until now I'm still dependent on my parents. Or maybe it's the outcast in me thinking that there's no place for me on the world wide web. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, don't you think it's much better for me to just keep my own thoughts to myself and not post it on a blog online or something? Well, I guess that's something to think over.

On second thought no one aside from friends knows the girl behind “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn 'coz I'm carrying a pen name or something. I'm also considering the option of switching back to writing in a diary format and update my blog with my diary entries only once a month to save up some dough or something. Well, it's just that this time around I'll do whatever I can not to play with words anymore. Oh, I began writing on my blog last June and school usually starts at June so I began kindergarten one or basically my student career on the month of June two decades ago and if I start writing a diary this October I have to say that I graduated college on the month of October four years ago. Hey, I just realized that I began my TweetBook way back January of last year and it ended May of last year then this year I began Part One of my blog book way back June and it seems like it's gonna end this month which is September. I mean, what I'm trying to say is May comes before June so it's like a continuation of months whatever thing. Well, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so I hope it won't come as a surprise if I start a new and next project by October of next year and it will end by December of next year to complete all the months of a year. Damn, what am I saying? Hmm, so it seems like the dream still lives on, huh?

So Close to the Dream Yet So Far

You know what? I'm thinking maybe I'm already living my dream to be a writer as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Well, it's just that I'm sort of spending more to live that dream without earning a single centavo out of it. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Hmm, how many times do I have to repeat that? Damn it. I mean, I'm already in my mid-twenties and I'm still dependent on my parents so just try to imagine how that sucks. It's just that I don't really belong in the corporate world. I want to make a living as a writer not to mention that writing is one of the few things I learned in my whole damn life. Well, forget about all the wrong grammar though. LOL. Hmm, whatever. LOL.

Hey, I'm not done with step one yet which is to write a publishing worthy blog book so it seems like I still have a long way to go then. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. You know what? It's quite a challenge to document my life from now on when if I think it over I don't have a life to begin with. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking if I'll get the chance to read everything I wrote these days a decade from now I'll end up realizing what a girl with no substance I am as a young adult. LOL. You know what? I'm still thinking of having a writing workshop on my own. It's just that I don't have the slightest clue how am I gonna go with it. Well, I don't really know.

You know what? If you feel like you are the most stupid person that ever existed in the whole damn world then I guess it's much better for you to read my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn for you to feel like someone else out there is more stupid than you are and that more stupid girl happens to be me. LOL. Hmm, nothing much. I mean, that's supposed to be a marketing strategy. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking I'm gonna read everything I have written since I began blogging carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” by the time my blog book which is “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn miraculously survives a year which is ages from now. Well, way back January 2012 I began writing a TweetBook which is a compilation of all my tweets for the Year of the Water Dragon. It's just that my psychotic mind dropped by and spoiled everything which put an end to my TweetBook by mid of May 2012. Well, never mind. Damn it.

Hmm, so I guess TweetBook time was long over and it's now time for writing a blog book as I document the rest of my life from now on which is not as easy as one-two-three. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. It's just that I'd rather have nothing to talk about than have my psychotic mind drop by and ruin everything. I mean, if you can catch my drift. You know what? The Year of the Water Dragon 2012 was just a year ago but it feels like it's been decades or something. Hmm, I don't know with me. I mean, considering that nothing much is happening in my life aside from the usual same old same old. Well, I don't really know. Damn it.

It seems like I'm not switching back to writing in a diary format 'coz I'll only end up playing with words whenever I write in such a way. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, my blog is really getting more and more boring by the minute. Well, that's nothing new. I mean, what can you expect from a boring person like me living such a super boring life? Hmm, I wonder why am I writing a lot lately. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I wonder if it has something to do with being pressured to write 97,500 words of nonsense on or before the 15^th of December 2013. Well, all I know is I'm not playing with words this time around. I mean, I'm simply writing whatever pops out of my head in a candid way. Damn, I'm still on step one. LOL.

Drifting in My Own World

Within the few hours before writing this blog draft I watched all over again the 8^th movie installment of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately and I have to say that it's fair enough to consider the 8^th movie installment as one of the best if not the best in the entire movie version. Well, it's the finale so what can you expect? LOL. Oh, not to mention that some parts of the 8^th movie installment were so moving and there were times when I ended up being teary eyed. LOL. Well, I don't know with me. Damn, it was such one heck of a finale. Hmm, so I'm done reading the book series and I'm done re-watching all of the movie installments so I guess I didn't miss half of my life after all. LOL. How many times do I have to repeat that? LOL.

Well, I guess my readers if I ever do have some have figured out what Fantasy book series it is that I'm babbling about lately due to the accidental clues that I have given so far so I guess there's no need for me to give any more clues or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL. I mean, I'm not really that good when it comes to giving a book review or a movie review. You know what? There are some people who tell other people to dream and keep on dreaming until one's dream comes true. Well, it's just that I'm wondering how will those people telling other people to dream react if I tell them that I want to be a writer and a singer songwriter slash recording artist someday. I mean, will they go and encourage me to keep on dreaming or tell me that not all dreams come true or something. Can you catch my drift? LOL.

Hmm, I'm also thinking what if receiving a message via social networking site from a music arranger saying that one arranged a background music for my song “A Broken Record” and a link to what one came up with is a sign from God that I shouldn't give up my dream to be a singer songwriter slash recording artist someday and God is trying to tell me to keep that dream alive 'coz there's a possibility that it will come true someday. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. LOL. Well, it's just that I have given up on my dream to be singer songwriter slash recording artist someday. Hmm, but there's something that can change my mind though. It's just that I'm not saying what it is 'coz it's some sort of a sign I'm asking from God that is confidential.

Damn, am I such a terrible writer? Well, I don't really know. I mean, I guess this is just the way I write so the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. I mean, I live in my own world since time in memorial not to mention that my own self is too much of a problem. Hmm, I'm thinking if I wrote a diary since I was a child I'll only end up filling up the pages of a notebook with all the nonsense in the world or something. I mean, there's really nothing much to talk about at present. Damn, how many times do I have to say that? Hmm, I guess I better go and sing my song “A Broken Record” to myself, huh? LOL.

You know what? I came to think that I find it quite a challenge to be an amateur writer considering that all I have been writing lately are my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between so I'm kind of wondering what kind of a challenge it will be if I'll work as a writer who is supposed to write something that makes some sense or something. Hmm, I'm thinking of reading what I have written so far from the day I began blogging carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”. It's just that I still don't feel like doing so. Well, I guess there's a right time for that so for the mean time all I can do is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Damn, how many times do I have to repeat that? Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, never mind and that's an amen. Damn it. LOL.

I'm Thinking It's Totally Pointless

I'm thinking it's somewhat pointless to keep on promoting my lyric video for “A Broken Record” considering that I have given up on my dream to be a singer songwriter slash recording artist someday. Well, maybe the reason why I keep on promoting it on social networking sites every time I get the chance to drop by online is because the views for my lyric video are still far from what I'm wishing for. I mean, I'm wishing for a thousand views for Christmas, right? Or make it a million. LOL. Hmm, I'm also thinking that it's somewhat stupid of me to think of self-publishing my blog book online without spending a single centavo not to mention selling my blog book on e-bookstores when here I am keeping on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. I mean, my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn and my blog book that I will hopefully self-publish with the same title contains the same thing so why would readers bother to buy a copy of my e-book when they can just drop by my blog and read whatever nonsense I wrote on it for free. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, never mind.

Well, on second thought not everyone can stay connected to the internet twenty-four hours a day so might as well download my e-book instead and readers can read my e-book at any time of the day even without internet connection. Or if I'll publish my blog book the old-fashioned way readers may think of buying a tangible copy of my blog book as a souvenir or something. LOL. Well, I'm still gonna keep on make-believing that I'm working as an amateur online though and keep my blog updated from time to time. Oh, not to mention keep on promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record”. LOL. You know what? There are times when I feel like starting a new book which has a theme way too different from my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn. Well, I'm just thinking what if I'll try to be a creative writer this time around and start a story or something. It's just that I'm not really a creative writer and if I ever do have daydreams I'm not that talented to put my daydreams into writing so it's much better for me to just drop the idea. Damn, I'm writing too much these days. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, never mind.

Damn, I can't help wonder if am I such a terrible writer. Oh, I wrote a lot when my Bipolar Disorder was at its worst and then I went posting my thoughts on a blog which is so stupid of me and I totally regret doing such. It's just that the thought that somebody was able to read my blog posts and found it entertaining somehow sucks. I mean, I was mentally ill back then and then there go a bunch of whoever they are making a laughing stock out of me. Well, what I'm trying to say is it's not a joke to be depressed and end up being mentally ill, mind you. Damn, I just don't wanna go through some mental and emotional torture anymore or shall I say I don't want my psychotic mind to drop by ever again. Hmm, I wonder if there will come a time when I can do away with the medicines. Well, I don't really know. I mean, it's been ages since the last time I went to my psychiatrist. Well, I'm thinking it's time for me to learn how to help myself get better.

You know what? The best thing about writing is it helps me understand myself better. Damn, what am I gonna do without writing? It's just that I prefer to type my thoughts down than have it handwritten. Well, maybe it's because I don't like my handwriting. I mean, I usually don't feel like reading what I have written with my own penmanship over and over again. Hmm, I don't know with me. I mean, I like to read over and over again my literary masterpieces if it's typewritten or something. Oh, I'm really sorry for my subject-verb agreement not to mention my tenses. I mean, as long as it sounds good then it's okay even if there are a lot of wrong grammars along the way. LOL. Damn, my blog is really getting more and more boring by the minute not to mention that I'm saying the same damn thing over and over again. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it and that's an amen. Well, never mind. Damn it. LOL.

Thoughts Poisoning My Head

Within the few hours before writing this blog draft I watched all over again the seventh movie installment of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately. I also went online a few minutes before writing this blog draft and then I went promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on a social networking site. Hmm, I also researched on interesting blog topic ideas. It's just that my research led me to nowhere so I still don't have any idea what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. Oh, not to mention babbling about my frustrations and how I'm living those even just inside the four walls of my room. LOL. Hmm, I also researched on how to self-publish an e-book without spending a single centavo and sell my e-book on online e-bookstores. Well, never mind. Damn it.

You know what? I feel like a college graduate who doesn't know what else to do in life after college graduation 'coz all I learned to do my whole damn life is to go to school. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like not knowing what else to talk about in my blog 'coz all I know to talk about are my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute. Well, all I know is I want to be a writer someday. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, so I guess the best thing for me to do these days is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Well, I'm still not over that mind reading issue though. Hmm, I don't know with me. Damn it. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about?

Hmm, so why is the title of this blog draft “Thoughts Poisoning My Head”? Well, I don't really know. I mean, I just remembered the way I think whenever my psychotic mind drops by popped out of my head and then I thought of giving the said title to this blog draft. You know what? It's not a joke to have Bipolar Disorder not to mention the mental and emotional torture that comes along with it. Oh, to add to that the prices of the medicines too. Well, I'm just thinking if I do the Math I'm most probably rich by now if I saved the dough spent for my medicines since I had Bipolar Disorder instead. Hmm, on second thought I'm talking about mental health here and I think everyone's well aware how important it is to be mentally healthy so I'd rather live a simple life as long as my mind is healthy and all that. Well, as they say count one's blessings and not one's troubles. I mean, what if this Bipolar Disorder I have is a blessing in disguise? Well, maybe.

You know what? It seems like I'll be spending the rest of my life waiting for the day I die. I mean, my dreams are an inch away from impossible and I'm thinking I'm only up to make-believing that I'm living my dreams even just inside the four walls of my room. I guess the best thing for me to do is to make the most out of each and every single day the way I know how. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I just don't want my psychotic mind to drop by and ruin everything. Well, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Yeah, right. Hmm, never mind.

I'm writing a lot lately. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, I don't know if this is what they call as a passion for writing or is this just some sort of adrenaline rush. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hey, it seems like I'm playing with words all over again. Damn it. Yeah, right. It's like writing a whole damn page when only two paragraphs or a few sentences perhaps make some sense and the rest are completely rubbish. LOL. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Damn, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Oh, I'm still thinking of doing a writing workshop on my own. Damn, how am I gonna be able to do that? Well, I don't really know. Hmm, whatever.

Browsing for Blog Topic Ideas

I browsed through the blog topic ideas that popped out in my previous online research back then and it's almost not helping at all. Hmm, I'm thinking of doing some further research the next time I drop by online. Damn, what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Oh, magic is a scary thing but also fascinating. It's just that as I've said I don't wanna have anything to do with magic. Damn, what if one day I'll find out that I'm a witch or maybe a vampire or maybe half of each? Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. Damn, why am I thinking like a child all over again? Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. Hmm, never mind. LOL.

You know what? Being able to read the whole Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately makes me feel like I graduated a course in graduate school or something. LOL. Hmm, I don't know with me. Damn, I wonder what it will be like if I'll receive an invitation to study witchcraft or something. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. Oh, and I'm dreaming about studying witchcraft in a sophisticated way and not in a creepy way. Damn, what am I saying? Well, I guess better not mind what I said. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking of reading what I have written here on my blog from the very start. It's just that I don't feel like doing so. Well, I don't know with me. So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Hmm, how many times do I have to repeat that? Damn it.

Hmm, I wonder if will I be able to write 97,500 words of nonsense by December. Well, I don't really know. Damn, who would bother to read that much nonsense from an ignorant girl like me? So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, how many times do I have to repeat that? Well, there's really nothing much to talk about as of the moment. I mean, my reading progress update for this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately is now one hundred percent complete. Hmm, I'm not really that good when it comes to giving a book review. Oh, not to mention that no one cares of what I think about a book to begin with. Damn, one day I'm gonna be a bestselling author who wrote a bestselling book. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams.

Hmm, I wonder if my lyric video for my song “A Broken Record” has reached another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I'm still wishing for a thousand views for Christmas though or make it a million. LOL. Damn, how many times do I have to repeat the same things over and over again? Hmm, it seems like I need to sing my song “A Broken Record” to myself, huh? I'm thinking my readers if I ever do have some are sick and tired of me talking about the same things over and over again. It's just that there's really nothing much going on in my life these days. By the way, I really dislike watching television these days. Well, since I had Bipolar Disorder that is. Hmm, I don't know with me and damn it.

Well, so far I only have ten books in my mini-library and I don't know when there will be an addition to it. I mean, I don't have a single penny in my pocket to buy myself a new book to read or something. Well, it seems like my world only revolves around listening to music, reading books, and writing my blog book. Hmm, so I guess my life isn't that boring after all. LOL. Oh, I'm thinking when my blog book miraculously survives a year then I'm gonna read everything I have written from the beginning and figure out if I have grown as a writer or not. Hmm, I want to write a blog book for light reading and not a blog book with a heavy atmosphere. Well, maybe that's why I end up being too childish in most if not all of my blog posts. LOL. Hmm, I see nothing wrong with it. Well, I guess that's just me and that's an amen. Hmm, whatever. Damn it.

Living Such a Super Boring Life

Yesterday evening I watched the fourth movie installment of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately and within the few hours before writing this blog draft I watched the fifth and the sixth movie installments. You know what? It only takes a few hours to watch the movie version and it takes weeks or even months to read the book version. Nothing much. I just felt like writing that one down. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking if ever there will be a re-make of the movie version then I'm gonna go and pick up the courage to apply as an extra. LOL. Well, that if the audition will be held in a place where I don't have to ride a plane just to get there which is a chance in a million. LOL. Damn, what am I saying? Hmm, I guess better not mind what I said.

So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm running out of nonsense to talk about. LOL. You know what? I just wanna be part of the movie re-make even just an extra like being one of the witches, vampires, or whatever in any scene needing an extra or something. LOL. Hmm, I wonder what it will be like to be in the movie set and all that. I'm thinking it will feel like having the chance to tour around a theme park or something. Well, I guess so. Damn, I'm thinking it will be such a magical journey or something. LOL. Hmm, it's just that the magic is fictitious and not real which makes it not that scary. I mean, if you know what I mean. LOL. Whatever.

You know what? I'm thinking of browsing through all over again those suggested blog topics that popped out in my online research back then. It's just that I'm not really a girl with many opinions. I'm thinking no one out there gives a damn of what I think or something. Hmm, so maybe that's why I'm also thinking that no one in one's right mind will dare to spare some of one's hard earned dough just to read my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between. I'm thinking maybe people will spend the dough to buy a bar of chocolate instead. LOL. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, an idea just popped out of my head. Well, why won't I do a writing workshop all by myself then? It's like doing some self-study or home study or something. Okay?

Hmm, so I made up my mind. I'm gonna do a writing workshop all by myself from now on. Well, for a start I'm gonna go and research for interesting blog topics then go and write something about those topics. Hmm, I'm gonna reconsider what came out of my previous research online and then make a short list of what I find interesting to write about. Hmm, that sounds like a good idea. Hey, did I say I made up my mind? Well, it's just that my mind is subject to change from time to time so I hope it won't come as a shock if I won't push through with having a writing workshop on my own. I mean, I'm thinking it's part of being a writer to be criticized and the more a writer is being criticized the more a writer will figure out how to polish one's skill in writing even more. Hmm, am I making some sense here or what? Well, I don't really know. Damn, never mind. LOL.

Damn, my blog is really getting more and more boring by the minute. Oh, not to mention that I sound like a broken record repeating the same things over and over again. Damn, how many times do I have to repeat that? LOL. So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? You know what? I really think doing a writing workshop on my own is really a good idea or something. Hmm, I'll think it over if I'll push through with it or not. You know what? I'm thinking of reading what I have written so far from the very start or something. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so I'm wondering what book am I gonna read next after this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately. Oh, I'm also thinking of researching more on how to self-publish an e-book without spending even a single centavo online not to mention selling my work of art which is my blog book on online e-bookstores and that's an amen. LOL. Hmm, I wonder if such is really possible or what. Damn it.

A Smile Isn't Always Beautiful

Oh, a few minutes after coming up with my previous blog draft I decided to watch all over again the third movie installment of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading lately. I mean, it's just fascinating to watch the main characters not to mention those who played them growing up. Yeah, right. While at the same time I can't imagine myself growing up when if I think it over we are almost of the same age. LOL. Well, there are times when I think in a mature way but I have to say that there are also times when I think in such an immature way. Hmm, so why did I name this blog draft “A Smile Isn't Always Beautiful”? Well, it's because I have a funny feeling that I don't look good when I smile and that's pretty much it. I mean, if I'm not mistaken some people say that one will look better whenever one wears a smile. It's just that it seems like it's not in my case.

You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online and if it's God's will that my blog will turn into a blog book plus I'll have the chance to publish my book for free online and not to mention selling my work of art which is my blog book then much better. Or if not after submitting my work of art which is my blog book to literary agents a publishing company will give it a chance then publish my blog book and my blog book will miraculously be a bestseller or something. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? I mean, I guess there's nothing wrong with earning my own dough while documenting the rest of my life, right? Yeah, I thought so. Hmm, so the dream still lives on, huh?

I don't know why I never learned to be with people. I mean, I have been a loner since time in memorial, right? Oh, I also have a funny feeling that it were the people around me who did whatever they can to adjust to me and I never did anything to adjust to the people around me. You know what? One of the reasons why I think I'm unemployable is because I never learned how to be with people aside from my immediate family and a few friends back in school. Well, on second thought when I'm around them I'm most if not all the time silent and seems to be drifting in my own world anyway so it seems like I'm not around them at all. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so I guess it's safe to say that I never really learned to be with people.

So I'm scratching the option to be a regular employee in a company 'coz it's quite obvious that I'm unemployable and I really have a strong feeling that the corporate world is not the right path for me. Damn, if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. I mean, I don't know why but I have a strong feeling that being a writer is the right path for me. Hmm, I don't know why. Well, maybe 'coz back in school or shall I say in my whole damn life I was only able to polish my reading and writing skills but my listening and speaking skills were left behind. I mean, if you can catch my drift.

Hmm, maybe in the coming days I'll still end up religiously updating my blog or maybe there will be times when after weeks and weeks I won't be posting anything at all. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, all I know is what I can do for now is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Damn, how many times do I have to repeat that? Hmm, I don't know where this path I'm choosing will take me. It's just that I really have a strong feeling that being a writer is the right path for me. Oh, I also need to remind myself that there's no such thing as an overnight success. Well, to think of it I began this journey to be a writer someday since I was eight. Hmm, there were ups and downs along the way but I'm still here living my dream as a frustrated writer even just inside the four walls of my room. It's just that this time around I guess it's time for me to live my dream as a writer in the real world everybody knows and I'll start by submitting my literary masterpieces to literary agents when I have written enough for my blog to be book worthy not to mention publishing worthy and that's an amen. Yeah, right.