Talking to Myself Super Helps

You know what? If I didn't write all my thoughts down whenever my psychotic mind drops by I think I wouldn't be sitting here writing a blog draft as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online as a stepping stone towards my dream of becoming a writer someday. I mean, writing is like talking to myself or something and you just don't have any idea how that helps. Oh, not to mention that writing played a dominant role in my journey to recovery. I mean, if you can catch my drift. By the way, in my blog post “Not a Bit Sense of Humor in Me” I wrote “on sense of humor” when I really meant was “of sense of humor”. Hmm, I don't know if I'll make some corrections or not. I mean, maybe I will or maybe I won't. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, on second thought there's a part of me telling me to just leave it as it is. I mean, maybe I'm thinking what makes an artwork more beautiful are its imperfections. Hmm, whatever. Damn it.

Oh, I read what came out of my online research on “Bipolar Disorder” and “Personality Disorder” last night. Hmm, I don't know with me but reading what came out of my online research gave me an idea on what I have to study if ever I'll take up Psychology in a formal school and it was such a turn off. LOL. Well, maybe I'll just go and do some online research about bits of Psychology from time to time not to mention that it seems like I'm not ever going back to school any time soon or maybe in my whole damn life. Hmm, I'm not an expert in Psychology so much more that I'm not a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist so I'm not really in the right position to make any diagnosis of the state of my mental health as of the moment. Well, all I know is while reading what came out of my online research I was able to somehow relate to what I read. You know what? I have not met somebody who has Bipolar Disorder and I guess I'm not interested to meet anyone with Bipolar Disorder. Well, all I know is it's not only me dealing with this mental illness.

You know what? I'm still wondering what if this Bipolar Disorder I have is a blessing in disguise. Hmm, I don't really know. By the way, I'm kind of thinking of buying a printer instead of having my literary masterpieces printed on a short bond paper. Hmm, it's just that I have a funny feeling that buying a printer at this point in time isn't such a good idea not to mention in wrong timing 'coz my laptop is slowly depreciating and I'm kind of thinking what if by the time I have saved enough to buy a printer my laptop is almost fully depreciated or something. Oh, to add to that I don't have a single penny in my pocket to buy myself a new laptop. Hmm, so I guess this is another downside of being unemployed not to mention unemployable, huh? Damn, it seems like I'm going off topic all over again. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. You know what? I really want my blog book to look like a professional looking book which is somehow an inch away from impossible these days. Whatever. Damn it.

Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. Hmm, I guess there's no need for me to study Psychology in a formal school just to understand myself better. I mean, a lot of prayer to God and a lot of writing will do. Oh, not to mention that things will never be the same again. You know what? On second thought I miss being a student in a formal school. Hmm, it's just that it seems like my student career in a formal school is somewhat over. You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do is to move on and focus more in my baby steps toward a career in writing in the real world everybody knows. Oh, not to mention that I'm not really that sure if sending my lyrics of “A Broken Record” to a local newspaper is a good idea or not. Well, I don't really know. You know what? I think it's time for me to say goodbye to my career as a student and say hello to a career as a writer. Hmm, so I guess the dream still lives on, huh? Well, I guess so. LOL.