So Nothing Much to Talk About

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. You know what? I have a funny feeling that I'm not really meant to land a good paying job as an office staff or employee in a company. I mean, all I wanna do these days is to write a book and make a living out of writing. Well, I don't know if being a blogger online is really going somewhere so much more that I don't even know if this blog book that I'm writing will make it as a bestseller. Oh, not to mention that I don't know if I'm diving head first with the steps I'm taking toward a career in writing. You know what? I'm thinking there's really no harm in sending my literary masterpieces to literary agents. I mean, as they say that there's no harm in trying. Well, I'm thinking maybe it's my fear of failure holding me back all over again or what.

You know what? I'm thinking maybe for now I'm simply an unemployed not to mention unemployable young adult make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Hmm, it's just that who knows maybe in the near future I'll be the next bestselling author who wrote a bestselling book or something. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. Oh, not to mention that I'm kind of wondering if sending the lyrics of “A Broken Record” to a local newspaper is a good idea or not. By the way, I read in an online article that if I dream to be a published writer I need to learn how to think about my readers if I ever do have some. Oh, not to mention that I'm thinking if my blog book will be given the chance to be a published book then it will have to go through revision by an editor. You know what? If you ask me I opt for my blog book to stay the way it is. I mean, I consider my blog book as a work of art and I don't like the idea of it going through revision. Well, maybe I'm thinking where's my freedom of expression if some editor will go and edit my work of art or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. I mean, I'm just saying. LOL.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking why won't I just keep on updating my blog from time to time even if I don't even know if keeping my blog updated from time to time is going somewhere or not. Well, it sucks to be unemployed not to mention that it sucks even more to still be dependent on my parents now that I'm already in my mid-twenties. Oh, not to mention that as the normal pattern in life for normal people dictates I should be providing for my own self at this point in my life. You know what? I'm thinking maybe God gave me this Bipolar Disorder in order to prepare me in being a writer or something. Oh, not to mention that I'm wondering if coming up with a script, a collection of my own poems, and a collage the summer before college signs from God that I'm meant to be an artist. It's just that I was so dumb not to figure it out back then. Or maybe I just subconsciously chose to be normal.

You know what? I may be thinking of giving job hunting another try. It's just that if I think it over I'm sick and tired of sending resumés to employers and going through job interviews not to mention that I'll most probably get a “Thank you for coming.” and “We will call you.” after the job interview when those phrases are simply another way of saying that I'm not qualified and that I better not keep my hopes high 'coz it's unlikely that a call from the employer will come or something. You know what? I'm thinking of sending my literary masterpieces to literary agents by December. I mean, I guess it's worth giving it a try, right? Well, I asked for a sign. It's just that I think that sign I'm asking for isn't coming any time soon or maybe in my whole damn life. You know what? I guess it's time for me to forget about my fear of failure. Damn, I wonder what it will be like to spot a copy of my book on the shelves of bookstores. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. Well, there's nothing wrong with dreaming anyway. Damn, what am I saying?