Overcome My Fear of Failure

I went surfing online a while ago and I ended up bumping into a list of instructions on how to send a book proposal to a publishing company that is based in this country where I live in. Hmm, so I came up with a book proposal and I'm thinking of sending it by the time I have written 97,500 words of nonsense. I mean, I guess it's time for me to overcome my fear of failure or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking I better wait until next year or something. I mean, what if the publishing company will just throw my work of art in the trash or something. Damn, won't that be so heartbreaking? Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Oh, why won't I ask for a sign? I mean, I'm thinking I'll only send a book proposal to this said publishing company by the time my blog book miraculously survives a year. Well, I don't really know. LOL.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. By the way, I also went job hunting online a while ago and researched on how to start a business or something. Oh, not to mention that I also checked out my news feed on a social networking site and stalked my favorite celebrities on a micro-blogging website. You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on documenting my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between and not think too much about literary agents, publishing companies, and not to mention being the next bestselling author who wrote the next bestselling book. Damn, I'm sounding like a broken record all over again. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL.

You know what? I'm thinking I'm just pressured to start earning my own dough at this point in my life. Hmm, it's just that it's nothing new that I'm unemployable not to mention that I want to be my own boss. Oh, to add to that it seems like I wasn't really able to develop some interpersonal skills considering that I'm such a loner since time in memorial which means I find it hard to be with people and to adjust to people. I mean, if you can catch my drift. By the way, the Punk Princess' self-titled fifth studio record album is out now if I'm not mistaken. Hmm, it's just that I don't have a single penny in my pocket to grab a copy and that comes with a sad face. LOL. Damn, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL. You know what? I think I'm not meant to be an employee in a company. I'm thinking I'm meant to be a businesswoman. Damn, did I say “businesswoman”? I mean, that sounds like a tough one, huh? LOL. Hmm, problem is I'm not really a business-minded kind of person not to mention that I don't have a single penny in my pocket pocket to start off a business or something. Damn it. LOL.

You know what? I'm thinking of keeping on saving in my coin bank in ten pesos coin denomination for the sake of having a capital to start off a business someday. Hmm, so for the mean time I'm gonna try and figure out a business with a lot of potential that I'm gonna get myself into. You know what? I'm thinking of the basic needs of an individual aside from money 'coz let's face it that each one of us won't be able to have any of our basic needs if our pockets are empty. Damn it. Well, so it's gonna be food, clothing, shelter, and if one is sick then medicines. Oh, not to mention water and electricity. Hmm, I'm thinking appliances, gadgets, cellphone load or internet load and so on and so forth are just secondary needs or something. Well, I don't really feel like getting into food business though it seems like it's the most intelligent choice since people eat everyday 'coz the pessimist in me is telling me that I don't wanna have anything to do with food poisoning. Damn it. Oh, when it comes to shelter I don't have a single penny in my pocket to venture into an apartment business. Hmm, so I'm thinking of getting into a clothing retail store business instead. Well, it's just that people don't buy clothes everyday or something. You know what? I'm really thinking of putting up a secondhand bookshop someday. Damn it.