An Uncertain Path to Take

Well, it's All Souls' Day and the home buddy that I am still opt to stay stuck inside my cave where I peacefully belong. Hmm, I went online a few hours ago to check on a social networking site if my cousin who just got married uploaded wedding photos. Well, it turns out that she didn't so far so it seems like I just ended up wasting my time. Hmm, so I went checking out who among my friends on the said social networking site was online at that time and greeted them a “Happy Halloween”. Well, I know it's kind of late 'coz Halloween is supposed to be on the night of the 31^st of October towards midnight if I'm not mistaken. LOL. By the way, I also uploaded on a micro-blogging website that black and white photo I came up with last Thursday if I'm not mistaken and wrote something like when my time in this world of the living is up I want to be remembered as a complicated girl who once lived in a simple world. LOL. Hmm, whatever. LOL.

You know what? I really sense no harm in sending a query to literary agents by December or something so why is there a part of me telling me that it's not such a good idea. Well, maybe 'coz it's my fear of failure resurfacing all over again. I mean, what if literary agents won't see any potential in my work of art or something and just throw in the trash what I worked hard for in the past few months? Damn, won't that be so heartbreaking? Oh, not to mention that I'm not writing a book that has a beginning, a middle, and an end just like what novels are supposed to be according to the online articles that I have read. Well, on second thought my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn is not a novel to begin with. I mean, my blog book or shall I say my work of art is simply a written document of my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” last June.

You know what? I'm still thinking of sending some of my poems to a local newspaper. Well, it's just that problem is I have a funny feeling that it's not such a good idea. Oh, not to mention that I don't really know if I'm ready for criticisms especially for those not-so-constructive criticisms expressed in a barbaric way. You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do is to keep on blogging even if I don't know where what I'm doing is going. By the way, a college friend asked me through chat on a social networking site a few hours ago if am I thinking of going back to school and proceed to another business-related course. Well, I told her that I'm not interested. Hmm, those weren't really the exact words of our conversation but I guess the thought is there. LOL. I mean, as I've said I really feel like I don't belong in the corporate world. You know what? I'm kind of thinking since there's no such thing as a Creative Writing course in this country where I live in then the course in college closest to Writing that I can think of is no other than Literature.

Well, the problem with Literature is that I don't really feel like studying someone else's work of art. I mean, it's like I'm not really that interested in studying Shakespeare or whoever that is. Well, let's put it this way. I mean, it's like studying Music in grade school and high school. Hmm, it's like teachers and books discuss about Classical Music, Baroque Music, Contemporary Music, and whatever that is which I'm not a bit interested in 'coz my ideal kind of class in Music is for students to be taught how to play musical instruments like guitar, piano, bass, drums, violin, and what not. Oh, not to mention forming groups or bands then students get the chance to write their own songs plus play them in a mini-concert inside the school campus and stuffs like that. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Oh, or much better come up with a record album as a project for the finals or something. LOL. Hmm, it's just that I know I'm a fool enough to be idealistic especially in today's modern world or what. Oh, not to mention that who am I to suggest a new curriculum for Music in grade school and high school. LOL. Well, I'm thinking maybe some people will go and tell me if that's the case why didn't I just went into a conservatory then. LOL. Hmm, damn it.