I Need to Sort Out My Priorities

You know what? I'm thinking why won't I just focus more in updating my blog or something. I mean, it seems like there's really nothing for me on social networking sites. Oh, not to mention that it seems like something is wrong when it comes to turning my laptop on these days and I'm kind of worried that what if a day will come when I cannot turn my laptop on anymore which means it's a goodbye to my blogging days. I mean, if you can catch my drift. You know what? If I think it over there's really nothing for me on the world wide web so why am I so hooked into it. Damn. I mean, my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn haven't even survived half a year and here I go having some trouble when it comes to turning my laptop on or something. Damn it. Well, I guess I better prepare myself for whatever that is that may happen or what. You know what? I haven't even started a career in writing in the real world everybody knows and it seems like I'm gonna have to say goodbye to my blogging days one of these days or something. Damn.

You know what? I'm thinking maybe none of my dreams are meant to come true in the real world everybody knows. I mean, I tried and tried but still all my efforts went into waste. Well, it's just that I don't know what those days without blogging is gonna be like or something. Damn it. Hmm, on second thought I'm thinking since my current laptop is slowly depreciating and is nearly fully depreciated I'm thinking why won't I sacrifice dropping by online for now and just save the dough instead for the sake of getting myself a new laptop and not to mention a digital camera plus a camera phone. LOL. Hmm, so it seems like you won't be hearing anything from me for about five years or something if my Math serves me right. LOL. Well, I'm still gonna keep on writing. It's just that I won't be typing my thoughts down anymore and blogging them 'coz it seems like I'm gonna go back to the old school way which is scribbling my thoughts down on a piece of paper which is not that bad after all even if I don't really like my current handwriting.

Damn, saying goodbye to my blogging days feels like one of the hardest goodbyes. LOL. Well, let's put it this way. Hmm, if I can still manage to update my blog from time to time then it means my laptop is still carrying on but if you won't be hearing anything from me anymore for like ages then it only means my laptop finally can't carry on anymore. Well, look at the bright side. I mean, at least I managed writing 97,500 words of nonsense before my laptop will soon say goodbye for good. Well, in all fairness I can say that my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn is one of the best works of art that I have ever came up with my whole damn life and maybe my journey when it comes to writing this blog book will soon come to an end for now but hopefully will resume in about five years time. LOL. I mean, God has given me three years, nine months, and five days to make my dreams or shall I say frustrations or better yet foolishness come true even just inside the four walls of my room and I guess it's more than enough for me. I guess so.

You know what? I'm thinking why won't I get myself busy by reading the books in my mini-library. I mean, I guess that will make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Oh, not to mention that it seems like I don't really have a future when it comes to being a writer in the real world everybody knows someday so might as well just settle as a reader or something. I mean, for now. LOL. You know what? It seems like the reason why I'm a bit hooked to dropping by online is because it's where I get the chance to live the artistic side of me or something. Damn, what am I saying? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Oh, now I came to think what if a break from blogging and reading the books in mini-library for the mean time will make me a better writer in the future or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn it. Well, I don't really know.

It's a Social Networking Overdose

You know what? I wish I was mature enough when I began joining social networking sites. Hmm, I'm thinking maybe I wouldn't have ended up creating an account and then deleting it after a few days, weeks, months, or years. LOL. Oh, not to mention that I wouldn't have ended up annoying my batch mates 'coz they keep on receiving friend requests from me or something. Damn, why did my network provider ever decided to make their customers access this said social networking site for free as a holiday gift? I mean, it seems like I'm having a social networking overdose or something. LOL. Well, I have deactivated my other and not to mention unofficial accounts on the said social networking site but last night I decided to keep one unofficial account existing. Oh, this account that I'm talking about is carrying one of my old pen names. Well, I currently don't have friends that I know in person in this said other account. I mean, I just added complete strangers randomly in this account or something as a numbers game. Hmm, it's just that it's different in my official account in this said social networking site 'coz I decided to only add those that I'm interested to be updated with what's going on in their lives at present. Hmm, damn.

By they way, I decided to delete some of my status updates on this said social networking site last night. I mean, I felt like those photos I uploaded shouldn't be there or something. You know what? I'm really trying my damn best to be mature in this official account on a social networking site and I think I'm doing pretty well so far. Well, I think so. Hmm, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. You know what? It's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. Damn it. By the way, if I think it over I don't really get anything from social networking sites aside from unleashing the gossip girl in me and freedom of expression. Oh, not to mention that I feel like there's really nothing for me on the world wide web so why do I keep on dropping by that artificial world. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, damn it.

You know what? I did my part and I guess it's up to those who left my friend requests on a social networking site pending to accept my friend request or not. I mean, I'm thinking maybe those people don't wanna be friends with me anymore even on a social networking site or something. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I'd like to stress out that I'm not really that close to anyone. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I came to think that a few weeks from now the network provider's holiday gift will come to an end and I'm thinking it's much better for me to stop myself from being too hooked to this said social networking site 'coz I'll surely miss surfing this site at any time of the day when the promo is over. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, why won't I focus on updating my blog instead?

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. LOL. By the way, I'm not yet done reading this book about dreamers and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. Oh, not to mention that I haven't changed my profile picture on social networking sites since I joined those social networking sites. Well, let's put it this way. I mean, if it's an awarding ceremony then the best picture goes to my current profile picture. LOL. Oh, and it seems like I can't find a photo of me that's worth to replace my current profile picture with. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing or am I writing in English in a way that it's only me who can understand all over again? Damn it. LOL. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here.

Days Without Dropping By Online

Well, for the past few days I was able to access my social networking account for free as a Christmas and New Year's gift from the network provider or something. LOL. Hmm, it's just that it seems like the fun is over from now on 'coz when I tried to log in my social networking account carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” a while ago it seems like something went wrong with the web page or something and don't ask me to describe it much further 'coz I just can't put my words into it. LOL. Well, so it seems like I'm going back to those days when I only get the chance to drop by online whenever I have written my latest batch of blog drafts to be posted on my blog or something. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Well, I don't really know with me. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know.

By the way, there's this song by the Twerking Queen that's giving me an LSS or a Last Song Syndrome. Well, I actually cannot relate to the song not to mention that I cannot dedicate this said song to somebody else. I mean, I was just caught by the song's melody not to mention that I ended up liking the song even more when I saw a video of the Twerking Queen on a video sharing website singing the said song live on a talk show. Oh, and when I checked out the lyrics I ended up liking it even more 'coz I find it a bit poetic or something. Well, all I can say is I had pleasant chills running down my spine while watching that live performance of this said song by the Twerking Queen. Oh, not to mention that that live performance made me forget all the ‘weird’ things the Twerking Queen has been doing in her latest music videos and not to mention her ‘twerking’ making me realize that the Twerking Queen is really a talented singer and she doesn’t have to do all those ‘weird’ things or shall I say go through all the ‘hype’ just to go further in the mainstream music industry ‘coz her amazing singing voice with an amazing song is more than enough to make her shine. Okay, I know no one asked for my opinion. I mean, I'm just saying.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Oh, I decided to drop saving in five pesos coin denomination and stick with saving in ten pesos coin denomination. I mean, with the rise of e-books these days I wonder if it's a good idea to have a books in print yard sale someday. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Oh, call me old school but I still opt to read books that are in print. I mean, I grew up doing so and I'm thinking it's gonna stay that way until my time in this world of the living is up. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL.

By the way, I tried to sing this song that's giving me an LSS. Well, it was a bit of a challenge to familiarize the words of the song to begin with but with a lot of perseverance I was able to familiarize myself with the words of the song and I just ended up singing the song over and over again not to mention that there are even times when I can't get myself into sleep 'coz late at night the song is still playing in my head. LOL. Oh, again I'd like to stress out that I actually cannot relate to the song not to mention that I cannot think of somebody to dedicate it to. I mean, maybe the song is just too catchy for me that's why I'm so hooked to it these days. Well, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is just to keep on updating my blog to make the whole damn world a better place to live in and that's an amen.

Here I Go Flooding the News Feed

Hmm, so I have been liking photos of people on a social networking site and I have a funny feeling that I'm flooding the news feed of my friends on the said social networking site all over again. Well, I'm thinking maybe it's not such a big deal to them or something but if it somehow annoys them or what then they are free to stop receiving updates from me in their news feed or something. LOL. Well, actually I turned this said social networking site into a quasi micro-blogging website a few years ago by sending status updates via text message. LOL. Hmm, and now it seems like I'm turning this said social networking site into a photo sharing website or something. Well, it's just that I don't really have that much photos to share. By the way, I logged in to some of my deactivated accounts on this said social networking site yesterday to check out some old photos I uploaded back then and saved some of those photos then deactivated those said accounts all over again. I mean, this account carrying the name “Adeline Chrystyn” is really the official one and I'm trying my damn best to be mature in this account or something unlike before.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. By the way, yesterday I had Macaroni Salad for breakfast then I had Macaroni Salad for lunch then I had Macaroni Salad and Spaghetti for dinner. LOL. Well, never mind asking why I had Macaroni Salad for the whole day. Hmm, all I can say is it's been a year since then. Okay, so why won't I talk about something else? Hmm, like what? Well, I don't really know. By the way, natural calamities are happening not just in this country where I live and grew up in but also in the whole wide world if I base it on what I have seen on my news feed on a social networking site not to mention that here goes the topic of this so called “End of the World” all over again. Well, no one really knows when the whole damn world will end. Hmm, I guess the best thing for each and every one of us to do is to make the most out of each and every single day or something. Damn, look who's talking? LOL. I mean, I can't even live my life to the fullest or what. Damn it.

Oh, it seems like none of those pending friend requests that I sent will ever get accepted. Well, I still have thirty friends on a social networking site and not counting. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something. You know what? I think I'm going through some diminishing satisfaction when it comes to social networking sites. I mean, it's like eating Chocolates or something. Hmm, at first one gets a lot of satisfaction when eating Chocolates but the more one eats some Chocolates the lesser satisfaction one gets from eating Chocolates. I mean, can you catch my drift or wasn't I listening to our Economics teacher back then attentively? LOL. Oh, and why did I decide to make Chocolates as an example when if you ask me I'll never get tired of eating Chocolates? Damn it.

You know what? I'm thinking social networking sites are a new medium of communication aside from being a platform for self-expression. Well, since no one out there really wants to talk to me then I'm thinking I'll go with making social networking sites a platform for expressing myself or something. LOL. By the way, I watched a reality show for designers last night and one of the guest judges is a female model. Hmm, so I went and checked her out on a social networking site and when I checked out her photos it seems like this female model is also an author of a book with a pink cover or something. LOL. Damn, so she's a professional model and a professional author which are both I'm not. Oh, another heartbreak this is. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Damn it.

Talking to a Fictitious Character

You know what? I don't know why but I have a funny feeling that when I was chatting to Sam Keanu Neuryc back then I was talking to a fictitious character all along. Hmm, I don't know with me. I mean, not to mention that he's keeping such a low profile. Well, I'm thinking maybe what happened during my chatting days to Sam Keanu Neuryc was all a case study or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so I guess it's time for me to move on or something. Oh, not to mention that it's been ages since he deleted me as friend on a social networking account carrying my real name. Damn, I wonder what's up with him these days? Well, I'm talking about that guy I saw via webcam. I mean, I'm kind of wondering if that guy I saw via webcam is the real Sam Keanu Neuryc or not or was he just an accessory to the case study or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, I guess it's all part of God's plan and that's an amen. Damn it.

By the way, I spent the past few days browsing through photos on a social networking site. Well, if you wanna check out the photos I like then just try out the graph search and type down “Photos liked by Adeline Chrystyn” or some other keywords with the same meaning. I mean, if you can catch my drift. You know what? It seems like I'll be an unemployed not to mention unemployable my whole damn life and I'll never get the chance to know what it's like to start earning my own dough. Damn it. Well, I'm still saving in ten pesos coin denomination in my coin bank. Hmm, it's just that I don't know if this time around it's for the sake of saving or for a digital camera. I mean, I'm thinking of unleashing the frustrated photographer in me or something. LOL. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I'm thinking that's not such a bad idea. I mean, there's a possibility that I'll compile my photos in a coffee table book and make some dough out of it or something. Damn it.

Oh, I'm still not done reading this book about dreams and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. You know what? I'm thinking I don't really have a way with words. LOL. Damn, and here I go dreaming to be a writer. Oh, not to mention that not just a writer but a bestselling one. Damn, who the hell will spare some of one's hard earned dough just to read all the rubbish in the world coming from an ignorant girl like me? Hmm, why won't I just keep on writing? I mean, I guess that will make the world a better place to live in. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking there are artists who are born and there are also artists who are made. I feel like I can express myself better through art. Hmm, it's just that I'm not as good as renaissance artists are so it seems like the wanna-be artist in me still has a lot of work to do or something which is not as easy as one-two-three, mind you. Well, it seems like the steps I took to be a singer songwriter someday are a total epic fail and I guess it's much better for me to just drop that dream. Damn it.

Hmm, I'm still keeping my blog though even if the steps I took to be a published writer someday are also an epic fail. I mean, I really opt to express myself through writing rather than talking. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, I wonder how will I do when it comes to photography. Well, I don't really know. By the way, I now have thirty friends on a social networking site and it seems like none of those pending friend requests I sent are gonna be accepted in the coming days. Oh, I decided to sort out those friends again. Hmm, I decided to fuse those who are in family, close friends, and interesting friends into one group which I named simply as “friends” then the rest are still “acquaintances”. You know what? I think I'm gonna give photography a shot. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, it's just that I still don't have a single penny in my pocket to buy myself a digital camera. LOL. I mean, if I can't start earning my own dough through writing then maybe I can start earning my own dough through being a frustrated photographer or something. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I'm just wondering if someone out there will appreciate any work of art coming from me or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn it. Whatever.

So Now It Seems Like I'm Bleeding

I was so bored with life so I decided to drop by Animé's profile on a social networking site. Well, it seems like he's happily not to mention madly in love with his girlfriend these days. I mean, at this point his friend and he were even talking about Animé having a baby with his girlfriend or something. Hmm, as I've said it seems like Animé and his girlfriend have been together for quite a long time now and it seems like the only thing that's lacking in their relationship at this point is a wedding and of course a baby comes after that. LOL. By the way, I also dropped by Where's-Your-Teacher?'s profile on a social networking and a picture of him carrying his son on a park greeted me with a big hello. LOL. Well, nothing much. I mean, I guess it's just that fanatic in me resurfacing all over again or something. Oh, I won't dare to add them on my official account on a social networking site. LOL. I mean, I think that's somewhat going too far or something. Damn it.

Oh, not to mention that I also dropped by Sam Keanu Neuryc's profile on a social networking site. Hmm, he wrote something in his mother tongue on his timeline a few months ago and thank goodness for the translation that I was able to somehow figure out what it means. Well, if I was able to catch the drift of what he wrote the right way it seems like he was hurting when he wrote whatever that is he wrote or something. Hmm, it's just that I don't know if he's still hurting up until now or what. You know what? I really want to know Sam Keanu Neuryc's offical social networking accounts 'coz obviously those accounts in which I had the chance to talk to him were unofficial ones. Well, if I remember it right Sam Keanu Neuryc sent me a link via e-mail message a few months ago. Hmm, I'm kind of hesitant to open that link or something. I mean, what if that link contains a virus or something. I mean, I can't risk it 'coz I really can't afford to buy myself a new laptop these days. Damn, why am I talking about my crushes all over again? Well, I don't know with me. LOL. Well, I guess I'm just bored with life all over again or something. Damn it.

By the way, I'm thinking of doing the Math all over again. Hmm, I now have thirty friends on my official account on a social networking site. Well, I decided to sort them out so I added three friends as family, eight friends as close friends, two friends as interesting friends, and seventeen friends as acquaintances. Well, most of them were my former classmates with two relatives and one schoolmate. Damn, why am I doing the Math all over again? Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. By the way, I'm not really that close to those friends I added as close friends. I mean, I just thought of stressing out that one. LOL. Oh, not to mention that I'm not really that close to anyone.

Oh, it's been a long while since Sam Keanu Neuryc posted something on his account in which I got the chance to talk to him which makes me think that maybe he has abandoned that account or something. Damn, it seems like the harmless stalker in me won't have any scoop from Sam Keanu Neuryc or something. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I'm really running out of nonsense out here. By the way, I went browsing through photo albums on a social networking and liked those photos that I find interesting. Well, I don't know with me. LOL. I mean, I guess I'm just so damn bored with life or something. Hmm, on second thought I like browsing through photos. I mean, I guess it's just the frustrated photographer in me resurfacing all over again or something. Damn, what am I saying? Well, I don't know with me. Damn it. Hmm, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Oh, not to mention that I better try my best to hold back the harmless stalker in me. I mean, it seems like my crushes are happy with their lives now with someone special which leaves me bleeding 'coz unfortunately that special someone isn't me and never will be. Sigh. LOL.

It's A Polite Way of Rejection

I went online yesterday to update my blog and then I dropped by my e-mail address to check out my inbox. Well, news is I was able to receive a reply from that publishing company that is based in this country where I live in. Hmm, the message says that they were able to receive my book proposal and they are asking me to give them about one or two months to go through my book proposal not to mention that they didn't fail to stress out that they are screening book proposals these days for books to be published on 2015. Well, if I think it over since it's nearly the end of 2013 so I'm thinking it's just reasonable that this said publishing company is screening books to be published on 2015 or something. Hmm, it's just that I don't know why but there's a part of me telling me that maybe it's their polite way of rejecting my book proposal. I mean, it's like 2015 is still ages away or something and maybe psychologically speaking this said publishing company thinks that maybe I'm a bit too impatient to wait that long to get my book published or something so there's a possibility that I'll send a book proposal to other publishing companies or literary agents whom I think can publish my book sooner or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift.

By the way, I decided to add more people on a social networking site. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, I'm thinking of doing the Math all over but I guess it's much better for me to just forget about that stuff. LOL. Oh, I'd like to stress out that I'm not really that close to anyone. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I have a funny feeling that no one I know in person wants to talk to me so why won't I go back talking to complete strangers instead. LOL. Hmm, I'll think about it. You know what? I'm thinking of only adding those people that I know in person on a social networking site. Hmm, it's just that if I think it over it seems like most people on a social networking don't really know in person everyone that they added on their account or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, what am I saying? You know what? I'm thinking of browsing through the friend suggestions, check out the profile of those that I find interesting, and send those people friend requests. I mean, I think there's nothing wrong with that or something. Well, I don't really know with me. LOL. Hmm, I'll think about it. LOL.

Hmm, I was thinking of writing a blog draft every other day. Well, it's just that it seems not possible these days. I mean, I'm thinking why won't I just limit myself to writing a blog draft a day or something to make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Hmm, I don't really know with me. Oh, not to mention that the local newspaper to whom I sent a poem to via e-mail didn't reply to my message. Well, I'm thinking maybe my poem isn't good enough or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I don't really find anything wrong with adding more people on a social networking site. I mean, that's why it's called a “social networking site”, right? Well, if you can catch my drift. Damn, what am I saying? LOL.

Well, I listed forty-nine people more that I'm thinking of sending friend requests to on a social networking site. Hmm, I came up with that list when I browsed through my yearbooks sometime ago. Well, I have to stress out again and again that these people and I aren't really close. I mean, I just find them interesting that's why I'm thinking of sending them friend requests. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. You know what? I wonder what it will be like if I was mature enough when I began joining social networking sites. Well, maybe I wouldn't have ended up creating an account and deleting it after a while. Damn, I guess that's life. LOL. Sigh.

Hold Back the Gossip Girl in Me

I browsed through my grade school and high school yearbooks then made a list of those that I'm thinking of sending friend requests to on a social networking site. Hmm, it's just that I'm thinking it's not a good idea to send more friend requests to people on a social networking site for now. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I'm thinking of sending a message to those who left my friend requests pending telling them that my account carrying the name “Adeline Chrystyn” is the official one or something hoping for them to accept my friend requests 'coz I really want to be updated with what's going on in their lives these days. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, it seems like I can't hold back the gossip girl in me or something. LOL. Well, actually I initially listed down only fifteen people to whom I will send a friend request to on a social networking site. Hmm, that includes two cousins then two friends I met way back grade school then eight friends I met way back high school then three friends I met way back college. Well, I'd like to stress out that I'm not really that close to any one of them. Hmm, I guess I just want to have a glimpse and be updated with what's going on in their lives these days or something. Well, I want to add my sister too. Hmm, it's just that I know she'll never accept any friend request coming from me so I decided to just drop the idea. LOL. Well, we see each other everyday anyway. LOL.

Hmm, so it seems like I just wasted my time browsing through my yearbooks and listing down to whom I'm thinking of sending friend requests to. Well, maybe in the coming days I'm gonna go and add them or maybe I won't. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I'm just thinking what if they don't wanna be friends with me anymore even on a social networking site. Well, how will I find out if I won't send a friend request, right? I mean, it's like waiting for somebody to talk to you again when that said somebody is also waiting for you to start a conversation. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, I wonder what happened to the poem and book proposal I sent via e-mail or something. Well, I guess it's much better for me not to think too much about it. I mean, it's only stressing me out or something. You know what? It's really sad that I won't be able to keep on promoting my lyric video for “A Broken Record” on a social networking site 'coz I deactivated that account in which I kept on promoting it. I mean, it only means I won't be able to make my Christmas wish come true or something. Well, I guess that's life and I better live with it. Damn it.

You know what? I'm still starting off a career as a writer these days but why is it that I feel like I'm in this journey my whole damn life. Well, maybe because this dream started when I was eight and I have been trying to write a book since then. Damn, I don't really know where this path I'm choosing is going. Oh, not to mention that it's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. Well, as they say that there's no such thing as an overnight success. I mean, if I'm climbing a mountain then it seems like I'm still at the bottom of it. I mean, it's like I haven't even started climbing yet. Damn, how can I say that when I have been trying to write a book since I was eight? Well, I don't really know with me. Damn, forget about it. Sigh.

Well, maybe I'm talking about being a writer in the real world. I mean, I'm still living my dream of being a writer even just inside the four walls of my room. Well, I sent a poem and a book proposal which seems like a step towards making it in the real world or something. Hmm, it's just that it seems like my poem and book proposal don't stand a chance in making it in the publishing industry. I mean, who the hell will put one's confidence on an amateur and take the risk? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I feel like I made a fool out of myself for sending that poem and that book proposal. Well, it's a step towards making my dreams come true so I just thought of giving it a shot. Oh, not to mention that this is just the starting point. I mean, I'm thinking there will be more making-a-fool-out-of-myself feelings in the days to come. Well, I guess this is part of my dream and it seems like the best thing for me to do is just to live with it making it an amen.

Too Many Ideas Play in My Head

You know what? It seems like I'm over-thinking too much lately. I mean, a lot of ideas are popping out of my head and I keep on thinking about these ideas over and over again. Well, it's like I end up being stuck in these ideas playing in my head or something and it seems like I have to do something to get over it or what. Oh, you wanna know what are these ideas that I'm talking about? Well, it's more like thoughts actually. Hmm, I'm still thinking of what happened to the e-mail messages I sent to the local newspaper and publishing company that is based in this country where I live in. I mean, I have a funny feeling that I sent those e-mail messages in such a wrong timing and never mind asking why 'coz I don't wanna go into the details. Oh, not to mention that I just can't get over the thought of having a book yard sale someday. Well, it seems like the book yard sale is still ages from now so why am I thinking too much about it. Damn it. By the way, I'm also thinking of sending more friend requests on a social networking site. I don't know with me.

Hmm, it's just that I'm thinking twice of doing such and I'm talking about sending more friend requests on a social networking site. I mean, if my statistics serves me right I sent friend requests to thirteen people and thankfully nine of those were accepted while four are still pending. Well, I accepted three friend requests that I received on the said social networking site and in all fairness I am being followed by twelve people. Damn, why am I doing the Math all over again? Well, it's just that I'm thinking that's why I wanna send more friend requests on a social networking site is because I wanna have a glimpse of what's going on in the lives of more of my batch-mates these days. Oh, problem is there's a part of me that's somewhat holding me back from sending those friend requests. I mean, I'm thinking what if most if not all of my batch-mates don't wanna be friends with me anymore even on social networking sites. Well, how will I find out if I won't send a friend request, right? I think I'm gonna go and think over it or something. Hmm, I don't know.

Well, if my statistics serves me right I have a dozen friends on a social networking site so far and a dozen followers as well. Oh, and for the record I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” on social networking sites since the 14^th of June 2013. LOL. Hmm, maybe I'll go and send more friend requests or maybe I won't. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I'm thinking it's the gossip girl in me resurfacing all over again wanting to have a glimpse of other people's lives. Oh, or let's just say it's the fan in me resurfacing all over again wanting to know the latest updates from her favorite celebrities. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, last night I made a short list of those that I'm thinking of sending friend requests to. Hmm, it's just that I ended up deleting the list the following morning. Well, I don't know with me. Oh, or better yet why won't I just forget about sending more friend requests on a social networking site. Hmm, I don't really know. Sigh.

By the way, it seems like I can't wait for every coming Sunday to update my blog or something. I mean, I'm thinking I'm gonna update my blog as soon as I am able to come up with a latest batch of blog drafts to update it with. Well, it's just that I came to think that I only live once so I better make the most out of each and every single day or something. By the way, I'm writing this blog draft on a Wednesday. Hmm, nothing much. I mean, I just feel like mentioning that one. LOL. You know what? I guess it's much better for me not to think too much of the poem and the book proposal I sent via e-mail. Well, I'm thinking the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on blogging. Hmm, I guess that will make the world a better place to live in or something. LOL. Oh, not to mention that the book yard sale is still ages from now so I guess it's much better for me not to think too much about it. Hmm, I'm still gonna keep on saving in five pesos coin denomination to buy interesting books and keep on saving in ten pesos coin denomination for the sake of saving. You know what? I mean, it seems like doing the Math is somehow stressing me out. LOL.

Invest in Books or Save the Dough

Well, since I like reading good books then I'm thinking of browsing for good books in a secondhand bookshop, read those books I found interesting and bought, then sell those books I have read in a book yard sale. Well, on second thought there's a part of me telling me why won't I just save the dough instead. Hmm, I don't really know. You know what? I don't really need a new gadget. I mean, my laptop can still function properly even if it's slowly depreciating not to mention that my mobile phone can also still function properly even if it is also slowly depreciating. You know what? Well, I'm thinking since I'm unemployed not to mention unemployable then I guess it's much better for me to focus more on my needs and not on my wants. Oh, it's just that I don't know with me but I find dropping by online to update my blog from time to time a need 'coz it's my ticket to establishing myself as a writer and all that stuff.

You know what? I'm thinking of dropping by online on every Sunday from now on or something. Oh, not to mention that if I'm not mistaken I'm writing this blog draft on a Tuesday and Sunday feels like ages away or what. LOL. By the way, the time and date settings of my laptop and my mobile phone are broken. Hmm, nothing much. I mean, I just feel like mentioning that one. Well, so I'm thinking of saving some dough in five pesos coin denomination to invest in good books aside from saving some dough in ten pesos coin denomination for the sake of saving. By the way. I'm still in the middle of reading this book about dreamers and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. Well, so while I'm still saving some dough to invest in good books then I guess the best thing for me to do is just to read all over again the books in my mini-library which is not that bad after all. You know what? I don't really know why I'm so into books. Damn.

Oh, not to mention that I read in an online article that reading makes somebody a better writer. Hmm, I guess that does make a lot of sense, right? Well, so it seems like I'm writing too much these days that I end up coming up with my latest batch of blog drafts in less than a week so I'm thinking of unleashing the artist within me and come up with artistic stuffs while waiting for the coming Sunday. I mean, if you can catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, I wonder what happened to the e-mail messages I sent or something. Well, I don't really know. I mean, I still have to wait until this coming Sunday to find out and it damn really feels like ages from now or something. Oh, not to mention that I have a funny feeling that I'll be waiting in vain or what. Hmm, I guess that's life and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Damn, what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't know. LOL.

You know what? I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, on second thought I only live once so I'm wondering why would I waste time waiting for the coming Sunday to update my blog or something. Well, I don't really know with me. Hmm, why won't I just limit myself to writing a blog draft a day or something. I mean, I guess that will make the whole damn word a better place to live in. Well, I don't really know. Damn it. You know what? I have a lot of ideas going on in my head these days. Hmm, I don't know with me. I mean, take the book yard sale as a sample or something. Hmm, it's just that it seems like these ideas will remain as ideas for now since I don't have a single penny in my pocket to turn those ideas into something real. Well, I'm thinking it's much better for me not to think too much of these ideas I have in mind. I mean, I guess everything will just fall into place someday or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, what the heck am I saying?

No One Asked for What I Think

By the way, I was able to accidentally discover that my broadband can also function as a memory card reader. Hmm, nothing much. I mean, I just feel like mentioning that one. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. I mean, I really have nothing much in mind right now. Hmm, I just feel like writing so here I am coming up with another blog draft. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. You know what? I'm kind of wondering what happened to the e-mail messages I sent. Well, I don't really know and I don't know when will I ever find out. Hmm, I haven't written a new poem yet. I mean, it seems like those once in a blue moon poem writing sessions is out of town these days or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? It just dawned on me that the home buddy that I am stayed stuck in my cave where I peacefully belong for months now. I mean, if you can catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Well, whatever. Damn it.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something. You know what? I really can't wait to drop by online. Hmm, it's just that it seems like I have to wait until I'll be able to come up with the next batch of blog drafts or something. You know what? I'm kind of thinking why won't I start blogging something that makes some sense or what. I mean, I'm thinking maybe my readers if I ever do have some are sick and tired of me babbling the same things over and over again or something. Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking maybe that's why I haven't received any critique when it comes to my writing style since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” is because no one ever bothered to read any of my blog posts or something. Well, I don't really know. Damn.

Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking the reason why I just can't wait to drop by online is because I can't wait to check out if I have received a reply from the local newspaper and publishing company to whom I sent a poem and a book proposal to respectively. Damn, I'm thinking I'll just be waiting in vain or something. Well, not to mention that it seems like I sent those e-mail messages in such a wrong timing and I don't feel like going into the details why. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something. You know what? I'm sounding like a broken record all over again. Damn, whatever.

You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do is really to keep on blogging while I'm still clueless on what am I gonna do in the real world everybody knows. Well, teaching in college will do. Hmm, it's just that I'm really not qualified not to mention that I don't have the brains and I don't have the heart. Oh, not to mention that I don't know what subject am I gonna teach in college or something if I ever do get the chance to go back to school or what. Hmm, on second thought I'm not really an intellectual 'coz I'm an artist. LOL. Well, a wanna-be artist that is. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. You know what? I have written 97,500 words of nonsense which means a chapter of my journey towards a career in writing has been closed and now it's time for me to start a new chapter or something. You know what? I don't really know where this path I'm choosing is going.

Better Not Keep My Hopes High

Damn, I wonder what happened to the e-mail messages I sent. Well, I don't really know. You know what? I guess it's much better for me to forget about it for now and think of something else. Hmm, problem is what something else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. By the way, I really have nothing much in mind right now. Hmm, it's just that I feel like writing so here I am coming up with another blog draft. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, so I think I'm gonna go and check my e-mail address from time to time to check if any of those I sent an e-mail message to replied or something. By the way, I thought of coming up with a poem book. Hmm, it's just that problem is I don't really have that much poems out here so I dropped the idea. LOL.

You know what? I'm kind of wondering if is it wrong of me to send my poem “A Broken Record” to a local newspaper via e-mail and send a book proposal via e-mail to a book publishing company that's based in this country where I live in. I mean, it's just that I don't know with me but I have a bad feeling about this like I made such a wrong move or something. Well, then I came to think how can such be a wrong move when it's a step for me towards a career in writing or something. You know what? I really have nothing to lose or something. Well, I'm thinking maybe it's my fear of failure and my allergy to criticisms resurfacing all over again. Hmm, I don't really know with me. I mean, all I know is I did my part and it's up to God to do the rest. Well, I'm still not keeping my hopes high. I mean, considering the fact that I don't really have any background when it comes to publishing and stuffs. Damn, what am I saying? Well, I don't know with me.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? Hmm, I guess I have to say that better not mind me when I'm writing a bunch of nonsense at times. I mean, as I've said writing is like a therapy to me or something. Well, let's put it this way. Hmm, it's like when a working girl is stressed out then she has the tendency to turn into a shopaholic at times to cope with stress. I mean, if you can catch my drift. LOL. Well, problem is I don't know if I'm stressed out or not that's why I'm writing a bunch of nonsense in this blog draft or something. Damn it. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. You know what? I'm thinking maybe I'm not really meant to start earning my own dough as a writer. Damn, what a heartbreak that is.

You know what? I don't really have that much in mind right now. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, I guess the best thing for me to do is just to keep on blogging. You know what? I'm sounding like a broken record all over again or something. Damn, I'm thinking the best thing for me to do in the real world everybody knows is to be a businesswoman even if I'm not a business-minded kind of person. I mean, I'm thinking maybe I'm not really meant to start earning my own dough as a writer. Hmm, on second thought I'm thinking of dropping by the office of that company that's looking for writers. Well, I don't know with me. Hmm, it's just that problem is I'm not really an article writer or something. Oh, now I know what I'm gonna do with my remaining internet minutes after updating my blog. Hmm, I'm thinking of researching for a low capital business that I can possibly get myself into. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, why won't I just wait for a reply from those I sent an e-mail message to for now?

Over-Thinking Too Much About It

Hmm, so I went online a few hours ago and then sent a book proposal via e-mail to a publishing company that is based in this country where I live in. Well, I thought why would I over-think too much about sending a book proposal when I have nothing to lose anyway. You know what? I have to say that this publishing company that I'm talking about is the only hope I have and it really sucks to keep reminding myself not to keep my hopes high 'coz if my book proposal will get rejected then it will totally be heartbreaking or something. By the way, I browsed through my news feed on a social networking site and noticed that my newly-wed cousin has uploaded wedding photos. Well, I just thought of mentioning that one. Oh, not to mention that I tried to write a poem yesterday. Hmm, it's just that it seems like those once in a blue moon poem writing sessions aren't in town these days so here I am coming up with another blog draft. Well, so I guess what I have to do for now is to wait for a reply to my e-mail messages or will I be waiting in vain or something. Hmm, I don't really know. Well, I guess it's much better for me not to think too much about it or what. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't know. LOL.

Well, let's just say it's time to close another chapter in my journey towards a career in writing or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? It's really not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. By the way, I'm still thinking of sending a query to literary agents. Well, I don't really know. I mean, since my chance to promote my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on social networking sites finally came to an end then I don't know what else to do on the remaining internet minutes after updating my blog or something. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, what am I saying? Damn it.

Hmm, so I sent my poem “A Broken Record” to a local newspaper via e-mail and I sent a book proposal via e-mail to a publishing company that is based in this country where I live in as a next step towards achieving my dream of becoming a writer in the real world everybody knows. Well, I don't know if I'll receive a reply or what and I don't wanna think too much about it. I mean, I guess the best thing for me to do is simply to keep on writing. Hmm, I did my part and I guess it's up to God to do the rest. Well, so I guess for now I'm gonna keep on updating my blog book as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Damn, I feel like I'm sounding like a broken record all over again or something. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking since a mobile phone is really pointless in my case aside from taking photos plus videos and listening to music then I'm thinking why won't I just save some dough to invest in a digital camera. Damn it.

Well, so it seems like here I go thinking twice and thrice all over again. I mean, if my memory serves me right I'm supposed to save up some dough to invest in a business or something. Hmm, so I'm gonna go and wait for at least two months for a reply from those I sent an e-mail message to though I'm not keeping my hopes high or something but I'm really praying for the best or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? In all fairness my blog has better statistics than my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Oh, and to think I don't promote my blog and on the other hand gave all my best efforts in promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record”. Hmm, I'm kind of wondering if is it a sign from God or something. Well, I don't really know. Damn, whatever.

Starting Off With My Poems

I went online a few hours ago to update my blog and then I decided to send my poem “A Broken Record” to a local newspaper via e-mail. Well, I guess it's time for me to face my fear of failure or something though I'm still wishing that the local newspaper will decide to publish my poem in the coming Saturdays. By the way, I did some further research about sending a query to literary agents and if I'm not mistaken I read something like a literary agent is somebody a writer hires to represent one's work to publishing companies. Well, I'm just troubled with the term “hire” because if I'm not mistaken it means the writer has to pay the literary agent for one's services whether or not the writer's book gets published or not. Well, I don't really have a single penny in my pocket for me to hire a literary agent so might as well just forget about sending a query to literary agents or something. Hmm, I'm thinking of sending a book proposal to this publishing company that's based in this country where I live in. Well, I don't really know with me. Damn it.

You know what? I'm really thinking of awakening the poet within me if there ever is a poet within me to begin with and start off my career as a writer by sending my poems to a local newspaper. Hmm, I think that will make the whole damn world a better place to live in. LOL. Well, problem is since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” I have written only two poems so far and those poems are “A Broken Record” and “Shrug It Off” though these “poems” can also be considered as “songs” 'coz the words and melody were hand in hand popping out of my head when those once in a blue moon song writing sessions dropped by or something. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Damn it. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Hmm, whatever. LOL.

By the way, I'm still in the middle of reading this book about dreams and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. Well, it seems like I'm being such a slow reader these days, huh? LOL. Oh, not to mention that when I went job hunting online a few days ago I bumped into classifieds looking for article writers or something. Well, problem is the office is located in my old city not to mention that I'm not really an article writer. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something. You know what? It's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. LOL. Hmm, I don't know when will I send another poem to a local newspaper. Well, I don't even know if I will or I won't. Hmm, I don't really know with me. LOL.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking in the real world everybody knows why won't I establish myself as a poet to begin with and then everything else will follow. Well, I don't really know. By the way, I have reached the quota which is to write 97,500 words of nonsense but it doesn't mean that I'll stop documenting my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between 'coz news is I'm still gonna keep on going. LOL. Hmm, I'm thinking of writing poems in the coming days. Well, that if those once in a blue moon poem writing sessions will drop by or something. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I'm kind of thinking that a few sentences or a paragraph that makes a lot of sense is way much better than a whole page of nonsense. LOL. Hmm, it's just that I feel like sticking to writing a page of nonsense in every blog draft or something. LOL. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Damn, what am I saying? Hmm, whatever. LOL.

I'm So Stuck In My Own Dreams

I was daydreaming last night as a lullaby to sleep and I was like it seems like my daydreams are gonna remain as daydreams until my time in this world of the living is up. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking maybe it's time for me to stop living my dreams or shall I say frustrations even just inside the four walls of my room. I'm thinking it's time for me to try to make my dreams or shall I say frustrations come true in the real world everybody knows. Well, problem is am I ready for whatever that is that comes along with making my dreams or shall I say frustrations come true. Damn, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Damn, what am I saying? Well, I don't know with me.

You know what? I think I'm gonna go and wait until December. Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I don't really have that much in mind right now. I mean, I just feel like writing so here I am coming up with another blog draft. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? It's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. I mean, not to mention that I'm such a boring person living such a super boring life. You know what? I'm thinking of touring around the city where I grew up in and document my travels. Well, I know it sounds weird 'coz I'm talking about the city where I grew up in which means I'm already familiar with the place and it's like there's nothing new to discover. Hmm, on second thought touring around the city where I grew up in can wait since I don't have a digital camera to document my travels not to mention that I don't have a single penny in my pocket to do so. Hmm, so might as well just stay stuck inside my cave where I peacefully belong for now. LOL. Damn, so it seems like being unemployed has infinite downsides, huh?

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I'm really thinking of sending some of my poems to a local newspaper. I mean, I really sense no harm in it. Hmm, it's just that I'm kind of wondering why is there a part of me telling me that it's not such a good idea. Well, I don't know with me. Damn it. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. You know what? It seems like I'm just repeating the same things over and over again or something. Well, it's just that I really don't have that much in mind right now. By the way, I'll really appreciate it if my readers if I ever do have some will send me a critique when it comes to my writing style. LOL. Hmm, or why won't I just join a writing workshop instead or something.

You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do is just to keep on doing what I'm doing even if I don't know if what I'm doing is going somewhere or what. Damn, I'm sounding like a broken record all over again. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking of starting off a business or something even if I know I'm not a business-minded kind of person. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on updating my blog book as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online or something. Damn, I guess that will make the whole damn world a better place to live in. You know what? I have a funny feeling that I really sound like a broken record in this blog draft or something. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Damn, I wonder if have I written 97,500 words of nonsense by now. Well, I don't really know. You know what? I really sense no harm in sending a query to literary agents. Damn.

Overcome My Fear of Failure

I went surfing online a while ago and I ended up bumping into a list of instructions on how to send a book proposal to a publishing company that is based in this country where I live in. Hmm, so I came up with a book proposal and I'm thinking of sending it by the time I have written 97,500 words of nonsense. I mean, I guess it's time for me to overcome my fear of failure or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking I better wait until next year or something. I mean, what if the publishing company will just throw my work of art in the trash or something. Damn, won't that be so heartbreaking? Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Oh, why won't I ask for a sign? I mean, I'm thinking I'll only send a book proposal to this said publishing company by the time my blog book miraculously survives a year. Well, I don't really know. LOL.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. By the way, I also went job hunting online a while ago and researched on how to start a business or something. Oh, not to mention that I also checked out my news feed on a social networking site and stalked my favorite celebrities on a micro-blogging website. You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do for now is to keep on documenting my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between and not think too much about literary agents, publishing companies, and not to mention being the next bestselling author who wrote the next bestselling book. Damn, I'm sounding like a broken record all over again. LOL. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL.

You know what? I'm thinking I'm just pressured to start earning my own dough at this point in my life. Hmm, it's just that it's nothing new that I'm unemployable not to mention that I want to be my own boss. Oh, to add to that it seems like I wasn't really able to develop some interpersonal skills considering that I'm such a loner since time in memorial which means I find it hard to be with people and to adjust to people. I mean, if you can catch my drift. By the way, the Punk Princess' self-titled fifth studio record album is out now if I'm not mistaken. Hmm, it's just that I don't have a single penny in my pocket to grab a copy and that comes with a sad face. LOL. Damn, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL. You know what? I think I'm not meant to be an employee in a company. I'm thinking I'm meant to be a businesswoman. Damn, did I say “businesswoman”? I mean, that sounds like a tough one, huh? LOL. Hmm, problem is I'm not really a business-minded kind of person not to mention that I don't have a single penny in my pocket pocket to start off a business or something. Damn it. LOL.

You know what? I'm thinking of keeping on saving in my coin bank in ten pesos coin denomination for the sake of having a capital to start off a business someday. Hmm, so for the mean time I'm gonna try and figure out a business with a lot of potential that I'm gonna get myself into. You know what? I'm thinking of the basic needs of an individual aside from money 'coz let's face it that each one of us won't be able to have any of our basic needs if our pockets are empty. Damn it. Well, so it's gonna be food, clothing, shelter, and if one is sick then medicines. Oh, not to mention water and electricity. Hmm, I'm thinking appliances, gadgets, cellphone load or internet load and so on and so forth are just secondary needs or something. Well, I don't really feel like getting into food business though it seems like it's the most intelligent choice since people eat everyday 'coz the pessimist in me is telling me that I don't wanna have anything to do with food poisoning. Damn it. Oh, when it comes to shelter I don't have a single penny in my pocket to venture into an apartment business. Hmm, so I'm thinking of getting into a clothing retail store business instead. Well, it's just that people don't buy clothes everyday or something. You know what? I'm really thinking of putting up a secondhand bookshop someday. Damn it.

Wondering What to Write Next

Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Hmm, there's really nothing much to talk about. I mean, I just feel like writing so here I am coming up with another blog draft. Damn, I wonder when will I ever get the chance to travel all around the world or something. LOL. Hmm, on second thought traveling all around the world is just a want and it's not really a need so might as well just forget about that want for now. You know what? I guess it's much better for me to stay stuck inside my cave where I peacefully belong. LOL. Oh, not to mention that I think it will be interesting to be a backpacker. Hmm, it's just that for one's safety I don't think it's advisable to travel around as a backpacker all alone. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, it's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Damn it.

Oh, not to mention that there's really nothing much going on in my damn life these days. You know what? I'm thinking of getting into business. Hmm, it's just that I don't know what kind of business am I gonna get myself into. Well, on second thought I have not saved that much in my coin bank for me to start off a business or something. I mean, I really have a funny feeling that I'm unemployable. Oh, not to mention that I wanna be my own boss. Damn, how many times do I have to keep on saying the same damn things over and over again? Hmm, I don't know with me. Damn it. LOL. By the way, my blog book nearly has 97,500 words of nonsense. I mean, if my Math serves me right a few more blog drafts to go and my blog book will finally reach the quota. You know what? I'm thinking not to wait until the mid of December in sending a query to literary agents. I mean, I'm thinking of sending a query to literary agents by the time my blog book reaches the quota of having 97,500 words of nonsense. Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL.

Hmm, I have another option in mind. I mean, I'm thinking of sending some of my poems to a local newspaper or something. Well, I don't really know. Damn, why am I so undecided? Well, I don't know with me. You know what? I'm thinking this isn't the right time for me to send a query to literary agents or to send some of my poems to a local newspaper. Oh, not to mention that I don't even know if there's a right time at all. You know what? I'm thinking maybe what God can only give me is the chance to make-believe that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Well, it's not because God doesn't have what it takes to make me the next bestselling author who wrote the next bestselling book. I mean, I'm thinking it's because God can see the future that's why there are prayers left unanswered. Hmm, maybe God thinks I'm not ready for whatever that is that comes along with being a bestselling author in the real world everybody knows. You know what? I'm thinking why am I always saying “I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online.” when I can simply say that “I'm a blogger.”. Well, I don't know with me. Damn it. LOL.

Damn, I'm just trying to live my life to the fullest here the way I know how. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. LOL. Oh, since I deactivated my social networking account in which I kept on promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” then it seems like it will take ages for my lyric video to achieve another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense out here. Hmm, so I guess the best thing for me to do now is to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. I mean, I guess it's my own way of living my life to the fullest or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. LOL.