Flipping the Pages of the Past

I guess it's much better for me to stop myself whenever I end up being on my way to flipping the pages of the past. I mean, thinking about the past is not helping not to mention that I don't want my psychotic mind to drop by all over again. Well, the worst thing that ever happened in my damn life is having this Bipolar Disorder I have. Damn, why won't I look at the bright side? I mean, if there ever is a bright side to having this disorder I have. On second thought, if I didn't have this disorder I have I wouldn't have the courage to face my fears and live my dreams or shall I say frustrations even just inside the four walls of my room. Hmm, so let's just leave it as that.

I'm running fifty-seven percent done in reading this Fantasy book series I'm reading these days. Well, I guess I need to constantly remind myself that reading this book series is supposed to entertain me and not pressure the hell out of me. Damn it. Well, there's nothing much going on in my life these days aside from reading this book series I'm reading these days and keeping a blog updated not to mention promoting my lyric video for my song “A Broken Record” which in fairness reached another milestone lately on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Yeah.

Damn, as I've said I'm on my way to reading the climax of the whole book series. Hmm, nothing much. I just thought of saying that one over again. LOL. So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm still wishing for a thousand views for “A Broken Record” for Christmas or make it a million. LOL. Actually, the last time I checked the views for my lyric video is now twenty-five percent of what I'm wishing for. Well, thanks to social networking sites that is. Hmm, whatever.

Well, one of the few things I learned in the past is that if I really don't know the whole story then it's much better for me to keep my damn mouth shut. I mean, sometimes having an imaginative mind has its disadvantages. LOL. Oh, you just don't have any idea how wild my imagination was back when my disorder was at its worst. Well, now that I'm recovering but not fully recovered I guess the best thing for me to do is just to laugh it off. I mean, thanks to the anti-psychotic and mood stabilizer I came back to my senses and I now know what's sane and what's not. Amen.

I'm trying to live my life to the fullest the way I know how these days. I'm still praying that the right path will dawn on me one day. Well, if being a writer is what God wrote for me to be in the book of my life that He wrote before I was ever born into this world then here I am doing my baby steps as I am religiously keeping a blog as of the moment. I mean, there are even times when I can't imagine myself doing anything else aside from being a writer and singer songwriter. Well, that if you talk about the real world and not in fantasy land. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, if I can't be a singer songwriter which is quite obvious then please let me be a writer.

I guess for now all I can be is someone make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online. Hmm, that will do for now. I mean, I live in a world of my own my whole life so there's really nothing new with make-believing that I'm living my strongest frustrations even just inside the four walls of my room. By the way, this Fantasy book series that I'm reading these days is getting more and more exciting by the second even if I have seen the movie version and I already know what will happen. Well, I guess it's God's perfect timing that I am having the chance to read the book series at this point in my life 'coz if I read the book series when I was still a teenager I have a funny feeling I'll most probably won't understand a thing. I mean, I think I have mentioned how bad my reading comprehension was back then, right? Well, so the adventure goes on, huh?