Swimming in a Sea of Books

Every time I drop by a bookstore I can't help feel like I'm swimming in a sea of books. It makes me wonder of all the quantity of books published in a year how can I make my own book stand out. Well, that if I'll be able to write my own book to begin with. Hmm, I don't really know. I mean, I have been trying to write a book since I was eight and I usually wasn't able to write one until its last page. Well, problem is I'm not as imaginative as I used to be anymore. I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with this disorder I have. Hmm, I don't really know and never mind.

I wanna have a mini-library here at home filled with novels. Well, so far I have ten novels in my mini-library and I don't know when there will be an addition to those. Hmm, since I don't have all the dough in the world to buy myself a new book then I'm thinking of reading those books all over again. Well, problem is there's a part of me who doesn't feel like doing so. Hmm, I don't know with me. I don't know if I can really trust my funny feelings or what. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is to not worry too much about it or something. Hmm, I guess so. Whatever.

Damn, I'm quarter of a century old and I'm still clueless in life. Hmm, I think it's nice to start earning my own dough by reading books. LOL. Yeah, why not be a literary agent? I mean, since it's quite impossible for me to be a writer in the real world everybody knows then why not read other writers' work and help them get their work published. Well, problem is I don't have the connections for me to be a literary agent. Hmm, I wonder if there's a university in town offering a course on being a literary agent or something. Well, I think I better go and research about that.

Well, as the way things look right now I think I'm not ever going back to school anytime soon or maybe in my whole damn life not to mention that my online job hunting attempts are such a failure. Hmm, as they say it's part of growing up. Damn, I'm wondering why I'm not so in touch with reality just like most people are. Well, I guess this is how God designed me and I guess the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. Hey, I'm trying to live my life to the fullest these days the way I know how. I guess it's more likely that I'll just spend the rest of my life waiting for my dying day. I mean, what is there left for me to do in this whole damn world? I don't know.

So it seems like my life is going nowhere these days, huh? Well, if I am to decide where my life is going I want to be the next bestselling author in the real world everybody knows. It's just that dreaming such is quite detached from reality so I guess it's much better for me to drop the idea. Well, some people say that there's nothing impossible in this world. Hmm, I don't know about that. I mean, it seems like my real studio record album and my bestselling book are still an inch away from impossible or something. Or maybe God is still working on it to make things possible for me. LOL. Yeah, right. It's like in my wildest dreams. I don't really know and never mind.

Damn, when will I ever wake up from my deep sleep? Well, I guess for now the best thing for me to do is to get busy updating my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn. Oh, but not as religiously as I did during my birthday month. Hmm, maybe I'll go and update my blog once a week or something. I mean, it's all I can do for now while I'm still clueless in life. Damn, I wonder what does it take to write a page-turner 'coz I really dream to write one. Hmm, I'm wondering if professional writers do hire ghost writers or something. It's like a teamwork kind of thing. It's like the professional writers write the plot of the story and the ghost writers stretch the plot into chapters. It's just that the professional writer gets the credit for everything and what the ghost writers get is some dough or what. Hmm, I don't really know. Well, maybe such happens.