As Time Goes By

I came up with a quote one time and it goes like this “Sometimes it feels forever to wait for the next minute. Then one day it's Christmas. New Year seems like yesterday.” Hmm, I guess that makes some sense, right? Well, these days I'm trying to live my life to the fullest the way I know how. Damn, just try to imagine how it sucks to feel like one's life is somehow going nowhere. I mean, I'm quarter of a century old in this whole damn world and I still don't know what the heck am I gonna do with my damn life in the real world everybody knows. Well, never mind. Damn it.

Hey, I'm interested in reading a novel that's more on Psychology or Mystery. Well, I don't know why. LOL. Speaking of novels, I borrowed a novel from my sister a few days ago and read the whole novel in more or less three days. It was a good read, mind you. I mean, the book was really entertaining. Well, since I don't have all the dough in the world to buy myself a new book and I don't feel like reading the rest of my sister's books then I'm thinking of borrowing books from my cousin. Well, maybe I'll push through with it or maybe not. I don't really know. LOL. Whatever.

Oh, as someone who likes the feeling of having crushes I can't help notice my social networking friends' hash tags saying “Why is it that your crush doesn't have a crush on you?”. Well, actually they hash tag it in our national language. I just translated it to English and I'm not so sure if I translated it the right way. LOL. Well, as I've said most if not all of my crushes don't have a single clue that I exist and if ever they do know that I exist I don't think they'll ever fall for a girl like me. I mean, who would like a super boring stalker living such a super boring life? LOL.

Well, not to mention that a lot of people find stalkers creepy. Hmm, actually it depends. I mean, if one is stalking someone and that stalker is good looking then that stalker is considered as a secret admirer whereas if that stalker is not good looking then that stalker remains to be called a stalker. Do you get me or is my grammar getting more and more confusing? Well, obviously it never happened that a crush of mine felt the same way I do for him or her and that's an amen. LOL.

It's just that even if such thing happened that a crush of mine felt the same I do for him or her then such thing won't go anywhere anyway. I mean, as I've said I'm not the type who enters into a boy-girl relationship. I guess I'm just up to having a crush feeling for someone or something. Well, it seems like this is how God designed me so I better just be okay with it. LOL. I mean, I guess I'm simply satisfied by daydreaming about my crushes and I may the daydream be a happy ending one or a tragic one. Hmm, maybe I'm not ready for a fantasy to come into reality. LOL.

Well, it's not much of a big deal to be without a partner for the rest of my life. I mean, I have been a loner since time in memorial so it's nothing new to me. I guess I'm better off alone. I mean, I get disorders when I'm with people. LOL. Well, it seems like I'll be an old maiden then or in other words it seems like I'll be forever alone then. LOL. I mean, if I am to choose between career and love life I'll most certainly choose my career over love life. LOL. Damn, why am I talking about having a career when I don't even have one? And why am I talking about love life when I never had one? You know what? I wanna have a career as a writer and singer songwriter. Well, forget about love life. I mean, the only man in my life is my father and the only boy in my life is my brother. I don't want and need another one. I don't think someone out there will ever love me the way my father does but I have a funny feeling somebody out there hates me more than my brother does. LOL. I just don't know who those people are. Well, it's just a funny feeling anyway and it doesn't have any basis at all so I better just forget about it. Damn, what am I saying? LOL.

I don't think my father and mother were against the idea of me being in a boy-girl relationship way back school days. I mean, I'm thinking they trust me enough those days not to screw up or something. LOL. I'm the one who doesn't want to have a boyfriend. Well, maybe in my daydreams my crushes and I have something but not in reality. LOL. Oh, not to mention that I was such a snob to boys back then. LOL. I want someone like Mr. Jersey Seventeen. It's just that none in school is like him. I mean, I have my standards and if my standards are not met then it's much better to have none. LOL. Damn, it seems like I'll be forever alone then, huh? LOL.