Monday, July 15, 2013

A Letter to My Dearest Diary

I had thoughts of starting to write a diary on my 25th Birthday. It's just that I decided to drop the idea 'coz I realized that every time I go and write a diary I only end up playing with words which is not good. On second thought what am I gonna write in my diary anyway considering the fact that there's nothing much going on in my super boring life. I'm thinking I'll only end up writing about my thoughts and my feelings or stuffs that don't make any sense at all in between. LOL.

Hmm, I don't know if there's something wrong with me being too candid or what? Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is to not care of what other people think about me and just do my thing. I mean, at this point in my life I'm being who I want and choose to be anyway. Hey, I'm living my dream as a frustrated writer even just inside the four walls of my room. So what can be any better than that? LOL. Damn, if I can only spend the rest of my life earning my own dough by writing in the real world everybody knows then it will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. It's just that it seems like I don't have that “It” they are talking about. LOL.

Well, the sad news is my baby is sick and there's a possibility that me living my dream as a frustrated writer will come to an end. Damn, so this is the downside of being unemployed. It's just that I have this funny feeling that I'm unemployable. Well, there are even times when I can't help wonder if God made a mistake in placing me in this part of the Universe or something. I'm thinking maybe I was supposed to be born in another world and something went wrong that's why I ended up existing here on Earth. Hmm, don't mind me. I mean, I say stupid things sometimes.

Hmm, so from now on I'm thinking that I'll only write one blog post for each week. It's like I'm make-believing that I'm having a weekly column in a newspaper or something. LOL. Well, it's nothing new that my mind is subject to change from time to time so I won't add a period to that. LOL. I mean, as they say we only live once so we better live each day to the fullest or something. So what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? LOL. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I think I need to go online and research about possible blog topics or something. Uhm, that sounds like a good idea. LOL.

Well, on second thought maybe I'll only bump into possible blog topics asking about “Who are you?” or “How do you see yourself in five years?” or “What are your goals in life?” and what not. I mean, if you ask me I don't feel like answering those questions or something so much more coming up with a blog entry about such stuffs. Hmm, I wonder if the lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” that I uploaded on a video sharing website's channel carrying my official pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” has reached a hundred views at this point. Well, I hope so. LOL.

Hmm, when it comes to my birthday wish when it comes to my lyric video of “A Broken Record” I was wishing for a thousand views on or before my birthday but it seems like what God can give me are more or less a hundred views. Well, it's like me dreaming to be a bestselling author someday and what God can give me is me make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer here online. I mean, it's not because God can't make all things possible. It's because God can see the future that's why there are prayers left unanswered. I'm thinking maybe God knows me too well and He knows that I'm not that ready to accept criticisms from people. Well, in fairness I had taste of criticisms. I mean, in a micro-blogging website someone said my song “A Broken Record” is shit and on a social networking site someone made a comment saying “ugh” which makes me think that that person is somehow disgusted with my work of art. LOL. Well, it somehow hurts but it didn't hurt that much. Hmm, maybe 'coz I'm day by day growing up. LOL.

Hmm, so here I go going off topic all over again, huh? Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. Hmm, it's still the same thing I'll only believe that there's nothing impossible in this world when the lyric video of “A Broken Record” will get a million views on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. I mean, is it too much to ask? Again, the deadline will be on my next birthday. If it's not happening then I'll take it as a sign that it's much better for me to forget about my dream to one day be a singer songwriter and come up with a real studio record album with live instruments sounding a little bit pop, alternative, punk, and rock. If I'll get a million views then maybe I'll go and get a guitar and turn my twelve-song-acapella-record-album “It's a Mess” into a twelve-song-acoustic-record-album and I guess that's an amen. Hmm, I guess there's nothing wrong with asking for a sign from above, right? LOL.

No comments:

Post a Comment