I
had thoughts of starting to write a diary on my 25th
Birthday. It's just that I decided to drop the idea 'coz I realized
that every time I go and write a diary I only end up playing with
words which is not good. On second thought what am I gonna write in
my diary anyway considering the fact that there's nothing much going
on in my super boring life. I'm thinking I'll only end up writing
about my thoughts and my feelings or stuffs that don't make any sense
at all in between. LOL.
Hmm,
I don't know if there's something wrong with me being too candid or
what? Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is to not care of
what other people think about me and just do my thing. I mean, at
this point in my life I'm being who I want and choose to be anyway.
Hey, I'm living my dream as a frustrated writer even just inside the
four walls of my room. So what can be any better than that? LOL.
Damn, if I can only spend the rest of my life earning my own dough by
writing in the real world everybody knows then it will surely make
the whole damn world a better place to live in. It's just that it
seems like I don't have that “It” they are talking about. LOL.
Well,
the sad news is my baby is sick and there's a possibility that me
living my dream as a frustrated writer will come to an end. Damn, so
this is the downside of being unemployed. It's just that I have this
funny feeling that I'm unemployable. Well, there are even times when
I can't help wonder if God made a mistake in placing me in this part
of the Universe or something. I'm thinking maybe I was supposed to be
born in another world and something went wrong that's why I ended up
existing here on Earth. Hmm, don't mind me. I mean, I say stupid
things sometimes.
Hmm,
so from now on I'm thinking that I'll only write one blog post for
each week. It's like I'm make-believing that I'm having a weekly
column in a newspaper or something. LOL. Well, it's nothing new that
my mind is subject to change from time to time so I won't add a
period to that. LOL. I mean, as they say we only live once so we
better live each day to the fullest or something. So what else am I
gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything
nonsense in between? LOL. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, I think I
need to go online and research about possible blog topics or
something. Uhm, that sounds like a good idea. LOL.
Well,
on second thought maybe I'll only bump into possible blog topics
asking about “Who are you?” or “How do you see yourself in five
years?” or “What are your goals in life?” and what not. I mean,
if you ask me I don't feel like answering those questions or
something so much more coming up with a blog entry about such stuffs.
Hmm, I wonder if the lyric video of my song “A Broken Record”
that I uploaded on a video sharing website's channel carrying my
official pen name “Adeline Chrystyn” has reached a hundred views
at this point. Well, I hope so. LOL.
Hmm,
when it comes to my birthday wish when it comes to my lyric video of
“A Broken Record” I was wishing for a thousand views on or before
my birthday but it seems like what God can give me are more or less a
hundred views. Well, it's like me dreaming to be a bestselling author
someday and what God can give me is me make-believing that I'm
working as an amateur writer here online. I mean, it's not because
God can't make all things possible. It's because God can see the
future that's why there are prayers left unanswered. I'm thinking
maybe God knows me too well and He knows that I'm not that ready to
accept criticisms from people. Well, in fairness I had taste of
criticisms. I mean, in a micro-blogging website someone said my song
“A Broken Record” is shit and on a social networking site someone
made a comment saying “ugh” which makes me think that that person
is somehow disgusted with my work of art. LOL. Well, it somehow hurts
but it didn't hurt that much. Hmm, maybe 'coz I'm day by day growing
up. LOL.
Hmm,
so here I go going off topic all over again, huh? Well, I guess
that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with
it. LOL. Hmm, it's still the same thing I'll only believe that
there's nothing impossible in this world when the lyric video of “A
Broken Record” will get a million views on the video sharing
website where I uploaded it. I mean, is it too much to ask? Again,
the deadline will be on my next birthday. If it's not happening then
I'll take it as a sign that it's much better for me to forget about
my dream to one day be a singer songwriter and come up with a real
studio record album with live instruments sounding a little bit pop,
alternative, punk, and rock. If I'll get a million views then maybe
I'll go and get a guitar and turn my
twelve-song-acapella-record-album “It's a Mess” into a
twelve-song-acoustic-record-album and I guess that's an amen. Hmm, I
guess there's nothing wrong with asking for a sign from above, right?
LOL.
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