Sweat it Out for My Blog Book

You know what? I'm thinking of dropping my seventy-page book project “Heartbroken Girl” and just focus on keeping my blog book “Mysterious Girl” updated from time to time. I mean, in the process of writing “Heartbroken Girl” I ended up realizing that I'm just repeating the same things in “Mysterious Girl” over and over again not to mention that I'm sick and tired of being such a prisoner of the past sounding like a broken record. Well, on second thought I think I don't have what it takes to work on two projects at the same time. I mean, it's just like being a working student. Well, what I'm trying to say is I can't pursue my studies and be employed as an office staff in a company all at the same time. I mean, it's like working in an office during daytime and going to classes in the early evening or something. Well, in my case I have to choose between the two so it's either I'll drop out of school or I'll resign from my work or something. Damn, what am I saying? Hmm, so it seems like I need to drop “Heartbroken Girl” and focus more in writing my blog book “Mysterious Girl”. I mean, to think of it Halloween break is almost over. Damn it.

I'm writing this blog draft on a Wednesday before Halloween and it seems like I'll be posting my latest batch of blog drafts by Friday or by Saturday or by Sunday. Well, I don't really know. By the way, I'm in the middle of reading this book about dreamers and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. Oh, I'm also thinking of dropping by a mall to buy a memory card reader. Oh, not to mention that I'm still thinking twice if I'll send any of my poems to a local newspaper or something. Well, I don't really know with me. Hmm, so it seems like my blog book “Mysterious Girl” is something that I'll get busy with for the rest of my life or shall I say until my time here in this world of the living is up. Damn, I don't really know if the internet is here to stay until the end of time or will it be a thing of the past centuries or millenniums from now. I mean, considering that technology is getting more and more advance by the minute. Oh, not to mention that I'm kind of wondering what if a book in print will be extinct in the coming future due to the rise of e-books. Damn, if you ask me a book in print is one of greatest inventions of all time.

Well, I'd like to think that posting my blog drafts here on my blog won't lessen the chances of my blog book to turn into a published book someday. Oh, not to mention that I'm thinking of limiting myself to writing a blog draft a day in the coming days. By the way, it’s been a while since I made some sketches and it seems like my talent in making sketches is a bit rusty these days or something. Well, I was thinking of buying some pencils, a sketch pad, and some coloring materials. Hmm, it’s just that problem is I don’t have a single penny in my pocket for me to do that. You know what? I’m thinking why won’t I just take photographs instead. I mean, maybe at the back of my head I’m thinking if I make sketches or paintings then obviously I’m no match to God’s work of art and He happens to be the best artist that ever existed so might as well just celebrate God’s masterpieces by taking photographs of it. Hmm, it’s just that I don’t have a digital camera not to mention that I don’t have a single penny in my pocket for me to buy myself one. LOL. Damn, so it seems like being unemployed has infinite downsides, huh? Damn it. LOL.

Hmm, I'm still gonna keep on saving in my coin bank in ten pesos coin denomination. Well, this time around I'm saving for the sake of saving. I mean, for now 'coz if I think it over I don't really need a new gadget. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is to keep on doing what I'm doing which is pursuing my dream of being a writer someday even if I don't know if what I'm doing is going somewhere or not. Damn, it's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. Hmm, I wonder if my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” has reached another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Well, I don't know.

It's the Only Way I Know How

Oh, so it turns out that “Heartbroken Girl” is an improved version of “Mysterious Girl”. Well, if you ask me I think my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl” is doing good so far. Hmm, it's just that I wonder until when will I be able to keep the good vibes going. Damn, I'm trying to live my life to the fullest the way I know how these days. You know what? I'm thinking my readers if I ever do have some are sick and tired of reading this but I'll write it down for the n^th time anyway. I mean, what I want to say is if I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Damn it. Okay, so let's just put it this way. I mean, since I just graduated in a make-believe writing course then let's just say “Heartbroken Girl” is my major project after graduation. Oh, not to mention that I still don't have a plot for the story yet. I mean, I just write down anything that pops out of my head. Damn it.

You know what? It seems like the only way I know how to realize my dream of being a writer in the real world everybody knows someday is by writing a book then sending a query to literary agents. Oh, I'm thinking in the process of writing “Heartbroken Girl” I'm gonna be like a designer working on materials and transform those materials I worked on into stylish clothing. I mean, what I'm trying to say is in the process of writing “Heartbroken Girl” I'm gonna work on my materials which are my blog book “Mysterious Girl” not to mention my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between since nothing much interesting is really going on in my super boring life not to mention that I'm such a boring person then transform those materials I worked on into a publishing worthy novel. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing by the minute? Damn, what am I saying? Well, I don't know with me. LOL.

Well, so it seems like I won't be updating my blog “Mysterious Girl” as often as I usually do. Hmm, actually I don't really know. I mean, what if something to write about pops out of my head or what. Well, I think in the coming days I'm gonna go and limit myself to writing a blog draft a day. Hmm, I guess that will make the whole damn world a better place to live in. Oh, not to mention that I'm kind of thinking twice if I'll go on promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on a social networking site. I mean, I feel like I did my best in promoting my lyric video but my best was just not enough to achieve a thousand views for “A Broken Record” on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Hmm, on second thought Christmas is still a few weeks away so I guess there's still enough time to realize my Christmas wish for “A Broken Record”. Okay, so I think I'm gonna go on promoting my lyric video until my wish is realized.

Damn, I don't really know if what I'm doing these days is going somewhere or not. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is to keep on going even if the path I'm choosing to take is uncertain. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. By the way, I took portraits of myself with my laptop's webcam and did some editing or what. Hmm, it's just that it seems like my webcam's automatic photoshop really said goodbye for good. Damn, what am I talking about? I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense out here or something so just don't mind what the heck am I saying. Well, I'm thinking in some ways “Heartbroken Girl” is an improved version of “Mysterious Girl”. Hmm, it's just that I'm thinking of writing “Heartbroken Girl” in a whole new different way from “Mysterious Girl”. Damn, it's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. Oh, not to mention that I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. Well, the thing is writing is my own way of living my life to the fullest for now. Oh, not to mention that I also need to highlight that I'm not writing to be a messenger 'coz I'm simply writing to express myself plus I'm not writing for anyone else in particular and that's an amen.

Something to Get Busy With

Hmm, so I began writing my new project which is my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn. Well, I don't really have a plot for the story yet. I mean, I just wrote down whatever that is that popped out of my head. Hmm, so it seems like in the coming days I'll be busy updating my blog “Mysterious Girl” from time to time and writing my new project which is my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl” whenever an idea on what to write next pops out of my head or something. Well, if my memory serves me right I read an online article saying that there's really not much dough when it comes to fiction writing 'coz the real dough is in non-fiction writing. Damn, the problem is I'm not an article writer so much more that I'm not an academic writer. You know what? I decided to work on a new book project which is my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl” is because I have a funny feeling that posting my blog drafts here on my blog “Mysterious Girl” lessens the chances of my blog book to turn into a published book.

I mean, what if the literary agent who decides to represent my blog book “Mysterious Girl” tells me to delete my blog in order for my blog book to turn into a published book. Well, the problem is I can't do that which means I'm keeping my blog no matter what. Hmm, so that's why I came thinking that the only solution to that problem is to work on a new project which is my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl”. Well, I'm just setting the number of pages to seventy these days but I'm thinking after reaching my goal of writing seventy pages then I'm gonna upgrade the number of pages from seventy to one hundred forty. I mean, I need to write 75,000 words to 120,000 words or something and I don't think I'll be able to reach the minimum number of words which is 75,000 if I limit my new book project to seventy pages. Hmm, can you catch my drift or is my grammar getting more and more confusing? Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about?

Hmm, on second thought why won't I send “Mysterious Girl” to literary agents and see what happens. Oh, not to mention that I'm thinking of upgrading the number of words to write from 97,500 to 120,000. Damn, why am I doing the Math all over again? Well, I don't know with me. I mean, I'm just thinking of writing 120,000 words to give my blog book some sort of allowance if ever the unfortunate editor who will be tasked to edit my work of art will end up deleting a lot of unnecessary words or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Well, I'm also thinking what if the editor will decide to rewrite my every blog post or something so it's like the the way my blog posts are written on the published version of my blog book will be a whole lot different from the way my blog posts are written in my blog but the thought is still the same. Damn, I'm thinking that will be a lot of work on the part of the editor. Oh, not to mention that I don't have single penny in my pocket to pay for the editor's talent fee or something. Hmm, whatever. Damn it.

You know what? I have to say that make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online isn't as easy as one-two-three, mind you. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking why won't I be the one who will do the editing or something. I mean, I'm kind of thinking of making “Heartbroken Girl” the edited version of “Mysterious Girl”. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, on second thought I'm thinking of writing “Heartbroken Girl” in a whole new different way. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I don't really have that much in mind right now. Hmm, it's just that I need to conform to the standard requirement of writing a page of nonsense in every blog draft or something. Damn, I really want my blog book to look like a professional looking book. Hmm, it's just that I don't think that's possible these days. You know what? I'm kind of thinking that “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn is pretty damn good and so far is the best of all my literary masterpieces so I'm kind of wondering why am I thinking twice of sending my blog book or shall I say my work of art to literary agents. Oh, not to mention working on a new project which is my seventy-page book “Heartbroken Girl”. Damn it.

Workaholic on Halloween Break

Damn, I'm supposed to be on a Halloween break as I am writing this blog draft. By the way, I decided to change the title of the seventy-page book that I'll be working on from “Imperfect Me” to “Heartbroken Girl”. Well, the problem is I still don't have a plot for the story or something. Damn, I'm not really a creative writer. Hmm, there's really nothing much going on these days and I don't really have that much in mind. I mean, I just feel like writing. You know what? If I can only start earning my own dough by writing then that will surely make the whole damn world a better place to live in and the only way I know how to realize that goal is to write a blog book and send my work of art to literary agents. Damn, is it too much to ask? Well, I don't really know. By the way, I went on reading that book about dreamers and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. Oh, not to mention that I need to remind myself that this book that I'm talking about is a work of fiction. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, damn it.

You know what? I have to say that these days my way of living my life to the fullest is by keeping my blog “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn updated from time to time and whenever I let a day pass without writing a blog draft I end up feeling like I wasted the whole damn day or something. I mean, the reason why I thought of writing a blog draft every other day for this latest batch of blog drafts is because early this October I have reached the limit of thirty-five blog posts every month. By the way, I'm still saving in my coin bank in ten pesos coin denomination. Well, since I'm unemployed not to mention unemployable the dough I'm saving in my coin bank came from my parents. Hmm, I was thinking of saving some dough for a gadget but had second thoughts of saving some dough for the sake of saving. Well, now I'm thinking of saving some dough in order for me to have some initial investment for a business or something.

Well, I have a business in mind. It's just that I have to work on the product before anything else. Hmm, I'm thinking my business' product will either be a seventy-page book or a twelve-song-acoustic-record-album. Okay, go ahead and laugh your ass out. I mean, I'm pretty damn serious with this idea I have in mind. Oh, there's nothing to worry 'coz the seventy-page book is definitely not “Behind the Mask” 'coz I'm thinking of working on a new book and I'll also work on a new set of songs for my twelve-song-acoustic-record-album that I'll still name “It's a Mess”. Hmm, actually I was able to finalize a new song for “It's a Mess by Adeline Chrystyn”. Well, some of the lyrics are originally from my song called “Walls” as a working title and I just added a few more verses from my song “Poison” as working title to finalize and complete the new song. Hmm, so it seems like my dream of being a singer songwriter someday still lives on, huh? LOL. By the way, this song that I recently finalized doesn't follow the usual song format. Hmm, actually the song is mainly composed of verses without a chorus which is not that bad after all.

Okay, so I'm gonna write down the lyrics of this song I recently finalized. Hmm, this song is called “Shrug it Off” and the verses go like this “There's too much to say but I don't know where to start. So I keep my mouth shut and wait for you to say something. You say you are fine. Not missing everyone and everything you left behind. And I tried to read between the lines. You're holding something back from me tonight.” and then “I remember those days when you would come home. Tell me stories about your day and then you write a song or a poem. But it seems different now. I feel like you are pushing me away. I know I'm not a part of your new world. But I am sure here to listen.” and then “You say it will poison your head. It will ruin her in your eyes. It will make you think she's a good for nothing witch. And then you will realize that it's just poisoning your head. And the venom slowly creeps in. And you will never look at her the same way again.” and then “She shouldn't waste her words. Play around it too much. Or else she will be taken the wrong way. Try to imagine how that sucks. Learn how to shrug it off when it's not helping at all in making you a better person as well as in saving your soul.” Damn, now I'm thinking twice if I'll push through or not with this business I have in mind. You know what? Why won't I just keep on writing my blog book “Mysterious Girl” by Adeline Chrystyn and then send my work of art to literary agents? Well, I don't really know with me. Damn it. Hmm, whatever.

I'm Not Really a Creative Writer

You know what? I'm thinking of writing a blog draft every other day for this batch of blog drafts. Well, never mind asking why 'coz I'm not saying the answer I have in mind. Hmm, it's just that if I let a day pass without writing I feel like I ended up wasting the whole damn day or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so I'm thinking of unleashing the creative writer in me if ever there is a creative writer in me to begin with. Well, I'm thinking of writing a seventy-page book that I'll name “Imperfect Me” by Adeline Chrystyn. Hmm, it's just that I don't have a plot for the story yet. Well, if I'm not mistaken it seems like love stories will most likely sell in the market. It's just that problem is I'm not in the right position to write a love story 'coz I never had one. LOL. You know what? I'm thinking it's much better for me to write a seventy-page book about having crushes and stalking my crushes or something not to mention daydreaming happy ending and tragic ending daydreams about my crushes and I. Hmm, what am I saying? Damn it.

Well, I'm just thinking of being a writer here. I mean, I read an online article saying that one becomes a writer when one starts thinking about readers. Damn, it seems like thinking about readers will be quite a challenge on my part. By the way, my laptop's time and date settings are broken as well as my phone's. Oh, not to mention that since we don't have a clock at home and I don't have a wristwatch then I ended up turning my mobile phone into a pocket watch or something. LOL. You know what? I'm not really a creative writer. Hmm, I'm thinking why won't I focus on keeping my blog “Mysterious Girl” updated or something. Well, I don't really know. By the way, it's nearly Halloween. Hmm, nothing much. I just thought of mentioning that one. Damn, there's really nothing much to talk about. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know.

Oh, I just fixed my laptop's time and date settings and I'm kind of wondering if is it gonna be broken all over again or something. Well, I don't really know. You know what? It's nearly Halloween and I'm thinking of watching a movie marathon or something. Hmm, it's just that I'm not really fond of watching Horror movies. Well, I'm thinking why won't I watch a movie marathon of the the movie version of this Fantasy book series I had been busy reading around August to September of this year. Hmm, on second thought since I'm done exploring the world of witches and wizards then I'm thinking of giving the world of vampires and werewolves a chance. Well, I'm not really that interested in reading the book version. I mean, I just feel like watching the movie version or something. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it.

You know what? I'm thinking why won't I have a Halloween break or something. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, if I'm not mistaken Halloween is exactly a week from now. Well, I'm just thinking of starting my Halloween break tomorrow and I'll resume writing after All Souls' Day and All Saints' Day or something which happens to be the 3^rd of November. I mean, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about and it seems like I need to recharge or something so I'll have something to write about in my up coming blog drafts or something. Hmm, if you can catch my drift. Oh, an idea just crossed my mind. I mean, I'm thinking in the coming days or during my Halloween break why won't I focus more in reading that book about dreamers and what dreamers end up doing just to achieve their dream. Hmm, I think that's a good idea. Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm thinking if my blog book will go through revision by an editor then I have a funny feeling that the unfortunate editor who will be tasked to edit my blog book or shall I say my work of art will end up getting so annoyed reading the same sentences over and over again. Oh, not to mention my disregard from proper grammar plus my terrible subject-verb agreement plus my awful tenses.

Unleashing the Artist Within Me

Hmm, if I'm not mistaken in my previous posts I said something like I feel like it's been all work with no play since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”. Well, it's just that if I think it over it seems like in fairness I am able to subconsciously balance work and play so far. I mean, I managed to read good books and listen to good music as I am keeping my blog updated plus promoting my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” as well. Hmm, so I don't know with me why I ended up feeling like it's been all work with no play so far. You know what? I don't really have that much in mind right now. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. Hmm, I'm thinking of writing a novel or something. Well, it's just that I don't have a plot in mind yet. Oh, on second thought I'm thinking why won't I just drop the idea of writing a novel. I mean, I may be an imaginative mind but I'm not really a creative writer. Hmm, if you can catch my drift.

You know what? I'm thinking why won't I just keep my blog updated from time to time for the sake of documenting my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between from now on and try my best not to think of literary agents, publishing companies, and not to mention being the next bestselling author who wrote the next bestselling book. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I don't really have that much in mind right now. By the way, I decided to continue reading that book about dreams and what dreamers end up doing just to make their dreams come true. I mean, since I don't have a single penny in my pocket to buy myself a new book then I'm thinking of reading all over again the books in my mini-library. Hmm, so what is this blog draft supposed to be about? Well, it's supposed to be about unleashing the artist within me. Hmm, it's just that it seems like I'm going off topic all over again. Damn it.

By the way, I really like the way my profile on a micro-blogging website looks these days. Well, I don't know with me. I mean, I feel like editing how my profile looks on a micro-blogging website is a means of expressing myself in an artistic way or shall I say unleashing the artist within me or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Oh, not to mention that I have not changed my profile picture on my online accounts since I began carrying my pen name “Adeline Chrystyn”. Well, in fairness my current profile picture online is a photo of myself taken with my webcam when my webcam still has its automatic photoshop. Hmm, I guess I need to stress out that I most if not all the time look different in photos and in person. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. Hmm, it's just that it seems like the dream still lives on and that's an amen.

Hmm, I'm thinking this isn't the right time for me to send any of my poems to a local newspaper. Well, I guess the best thing for me to do is simply to keep on updating my blog as I am make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online as a stepping stone towards my dream of becoming a writer someday. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. Oh, not to mention that I don't really have that much in mind right now. Damn, it's not that easy to write a blog draft filled with nonsense, mind you. Hmm, it's just that it seems like the dream still lives on and that's an amen. By the way, it's nearly Halloween. Hmm, nothing much. Well, I just thought of mentioning that one. Hmm, whatever.

Something to Write About

I'm writing too much these days. Well, I don't know with me. You know what? Actually, the real plan was I'll simply write a blog post per week so it's like make-believing that I'm writing a weekly column for a newspaper or something. Oh, speaking of newspaper I decided not to send any of my poems to a local newspaper the last time I dropped by online. Well, maybe 'coz at the back of my head this isn't the right time for me to do that. Hmm, last night I dropped by online to update my blog and then I posted on social networking sites that photo of myself wearing a dress. Well, when I dropped by online last night I decided not to promote my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” on a social networking site. Hmm, not to mention that it seems like it will take some time before my lyric video of my song “A Broken Record” achieves another milestone on the video sharing website where I uploaded it. Damn, I'm running out of nonsense to talk about.

You know what? I think I'm just pressured to write 97,500 words of nonsense on or before the 15^th of December. Oh, not to mention that if my blog book will go through revision by an editor I think my whole page of nonsense will simply narrow down to a few sentences or a paragraph or something. LOL. Damn, it's not that easy make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online, mind you. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I have a funny feeling that I'm really turning into a workaholic as I am keeping my blog updated from time to time. You know what? There's really nothing much to talk about. I mean, I just feel like writing so here I am coming up with another blog draft or something. LOL. Hmm, whatever.

Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn, I'm really running out of nonsense to talk about. You know what? I have a funny feeling that my readers if I ever do have some are sick and tired of reading those previous sentences over and over again in my blog drafts. LOL. You know what? I guess the best thing for me to do for now is just to keep on doing what I'm doing even if I don't know if make-believing that I'm working as an amateur writer online is going somewhere or not. I mean, God has a plan for me and I'm praying that everything will simply fall into place someday. Well, maybe there are times these days when I feel like my life is going nowhere. Hmm, it's just that as they say God can see the future that's why there are prayers left unanswered. I mean, there's always a reason why God is making things happen in our lives. You know what? I'm thinking what if I'm really meant to be a writer in the real world everybody knows and everything that happened since I had Bipolar Disorder not to mention having this Bipolar Disorder and going through so much mental and emotional torture are God's ways of preparing me in achieving my dream to be a writer in the real world everybody knows someday.

Well, I don't really know. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. Damn it. You know what? I feel like I'm really born to be an artist. Well, I don't know with me. LOL. Hmm, I know I'm not as great as Renaissance artists are. It's just that I feel more like myself whenever I express myself through arts. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, so what else am I gonna talk about aside from my thoughts and my feelings and anything nonsense in between? Well, I don't really know. You know what? I'm kind of thinking why won't I go balance work and play or something. I mean, it's not really healthy to just work most if not all of the time and just forget about unwinding or something. I mean, if you can catch my drift. Hmm, I'm thinking in the next few days I'll go and brainstorm for an interesting blog topic idea before coming up with a blog draft.

I mean, I'm thinking maybe my readers if I ever do have some are sick and tired of reading all the nonsense in the world that I'm babbling these days not to mention that my blog is getting more and more boring by the minute. Well, I guess that's just me and the best thing for me to do is just to live with it. LOL. You know what? I think it'll be nice to receive some critique when it comes to my writing style. I mean, I'm just wondering what if I'm giving my readers if I ever do have some a headache whenever they read my blog drafts 'coz they just can't understand what the hell it is that I'm talking about. Hmm, maybe I'm still wondering if am I writing in English in a way that it's only me who can understand or something. Well, I don't really know. Damn it. Whatever.